17,195
edits
Changes
no edit summary
[[File:Mouse.jpg|400px|thumb|right|''"Aww man, which one's the computer mouse? They look so similar!"'']]
In the hospital or clinic, a '''computer mouse''' is that oddly shaped object to the right of your [[Computer Keyboard|computer keyboard]] that looks like a decapitated rodent. It is characterized by a generalized clunkiness as well as colonization by all of the major multidrug-resistant organisms: [[MRSA]], VRE, [[C. diff]], and ESBL E. coli. <ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/01/study-finds-majority-of-americans-would-rather-die-of-e-coli-than-not-eat-at-chipotle/ Study Finds Majority of Americans Would Rather Die of E. coli Than Not Eat at Chipotle]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/11/e-coli/ Chipotle States Burritos Made with Responsibly Raised E. Coli]</ref> In other settings, the '''computer mouse''' is paired with a mouse pad. In the hospital or clinic, however, the '''computer mouse''' rests on an equally-colonized hard surface, thus rendering its activity less effective, much to the chagrin of any medical staff who wants to be productive. Furthermore, the '''computer mouse''' is incapable of the [[Quadruple Click|double click]] due to filthy residue. Inserting and reinserting the '''computer mouse''' from the USB port is futile. Feel free to slam the '''computer mouse''' hard repeatedly. In a way, it does make you feel better.