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[[File:Spermatozoa-human-3140x.jpg|400px|thumb|right|''Hair conditioner under the microscope'']]
'''Hair conditioner''' is that hair care product you use that looks a little too much like [[Testicles|semen]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/protamine-shortage/ Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory(Gomerblog)]</ref> Remember that scene in ''[[There's Something About Mary Jane|There's Something About Mary]]''?