An Accurate Though Incomplete List of Things Health Care Professionals Would Rather Do Than Experience More Burnout
A brief history of physician burnout
- Fall face first into a cactus
- Drink pure unleaded gasoline straight from the pump
- Read every burnout article on KevinMD
- Succumb to rabies
- Date Anthony Scaramucci
- Go shark diving without the cage
- Leap from a 5-story building onto a bicycle seat
- Eat own feces after going to Chipotle
- Test out an iron maiden torture device
- Get eaten to death by a wild pack of wildebeests
- Tightrope walk blindfolded on a windy day
- Go for a stroll against traffic during the Indy 500
- Ride a mechanical bull that has been mounted on an actual bull
- Take a nice long bath in a pool of lava
- Fall genitals first onto a freshly-sharpened sword
- Drink from the men's urinal
- Have LeBron James dunk them through a basketball hoop
- Receive 10 minutes of chest compressions while alive
- Dye hair with a flamethrower
- Jump onto a large pile of Legos barefoot
- Walk head first into a landing fighter jet
- Pet a King cobra
- Fly a kite into a tornado
- Suck on a cockroach
- Take a deep breath of fresh air in outer space
- Use a plugged in toaster, not soap
- Help Kim Jong Un build up thermonuclear supplies
- Stab out both eyes like Oedipus Rex
- Become an NHL goaltender but not wear any protective gear
- Perform neurosurgery on self
- Fold self in half 8 times
- Receive massage from a grizzly bear
- Iron clothes while wearing them
- Face a hippopotamus one-on-one
- Boil a pot of water, then immerse wrists
- Juggle machetes while partially distracted
- Chew on used condoms
- Go coal mining without a head lamp
- Watch all episodes of The Apprentice without interruption
- Heat up metal skewers than perforate eardrums
- Consume a whole churn of butter with a spoon
- Put herself into a dryer, turn it on
- Use glue instead of eye drops
- Scream at the Pope for thrills
- Lie down under an elephant ready to defecate
- Be the first person in history to die on Mars