Difference between revisions of "Joint Commission"

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All health care personnel always feel our Big Brother influence.
 
All health care personnel always feel our Big Brother influence.
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'''How to Become a Member of the Joint Commission'''
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The only requirement to become a member of the '''Joint Commission''' is to have absolutely no background medical training.  Though this not yet required to practice, the '''Joint Commission''' is now offering board certification called the JCBC (Joint Commission Board Certification) for the practice of creating regulations not based on scientific evidence.  There has been an uptick in board certification because of the opportunity for adding [[Post-Nominal Letters|post-nominal letters]].
  
  
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The '''Joint Commission''' has been causing immense waves with several controversial recommendations over the past several years.  
 
The '''Joint Commission''' has been causing immense waves with several controversial recommendations over the past several years.  
  
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[[File:Joint Commission New Regulation Algorithm.jpg|400px|thumb|left]]
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# On November 5, 2014, the '''Joint Commission''' had leaked an algorithm for the creation of new regulations, which Gomerblog made aware to the general public.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/joint-commission-regulation/ Joint Commission Healthcare New Regulation Algorithm Leaked]</ref>
 
# On May 19, 2015, the '''Joint Commission''' shut down [[Doc McStuffins]] after an audit revealed a myriad of protocol and safety deficiencies, which include but are not limited to HIPAA violations, lack of an [[EHR]], lack of implementation of performance metrics, and child labor law violations.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/mcstuffins-clinic/ Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations]</ref>  This was a dark day for medicine, as the Joint Commission's powers proved to extend beyond the real world.
 
# On May 19, 2015, the '''Joint Commission''' shut down [[Doc McStuffins]] after an audit revealed a myriad of protocol and safety deficiencies, which include but are not limited to HIPAA violations, lack of an [[EHR]], lack of implementation of performance metrics, and child labor law violations.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/mcstuffins-clinic/ Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations]</ref>  This was a dark day for medicine, as the Joint Commission's powers proved to extend beyond the real world.
 
# On December 8, 2015, the '''Joint Commission''' pushed for a new television quality initiative after a patient leapt to his death when his TV was stuck on [[''The View'']], stating that "Nurses and doctors should know what channels are available and how to quickly address TV malfunctions, as well as providing documentation of the above competencies."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/12/patient-the-view/ Patient Leaps to Death After Hospital TV Stuck on The View; Joint Commission Investigating]</ref>  Medical personnel got behind the initiative.  Except for the documentation part.
 
# On December 8, 2015, the '''Joint Commission''' pushed for a new television quality initiative after a patient leapt to his death when his TV was stuck on [[''The View'']], stating that "Nurses and doctors should know what channels are available and how to quickly address TV malfunctions, as well as providing documentation of the above competencies."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/12/patient-the-view/ Patient Leaps to Death After Hospital TV Stuck on The View; Joint Commission Investigating]</ref>  Medical personnel got behind the initiative.  Except for the documentation part.
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'''Balance of Power'''
 
'''Balance of Power'''
 
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To counter the unchecked power of the '''Joint Commission''' that has led to the aforementioned burgeoning of regulations and policies not backed by science, doctors and nurses joined forces to form the [http://gomerblog.com/2015/01/hospital-regulations/ Gigantic Commission], an independent organization dedicated to accredit, certify, and inhibit the '''Joint Commission.'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/01/hospital-regulations/ Doctors and Nurses Form “The Gigantic Commission” to Accredit The Joint Commission]</ref>
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To counter the unchecked power of the '''Joint Commission''', health care providers have taken numerous steps.
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#In October 20145, a movement started to do tear down any '''Joint Commission''' tips printed and taped up in [[Bathroom|bathroom stalls]] across the health care system, stating, "They may take our beverages away, our ability to effectively treat patients, and our dignity, but they will never take our freedom!"<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/joint-commission-tips/ Petition to Rip Down All Joint Commission Tips and Pearls Sheets from Bathroom Stalls Gaining Momentum]</ref>
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#On January 20, 2015, doctors and nurses joined forces to form the [http://gomerblog.com/2015/01/hospital-regulations/ Gigantic Commission], an independent organization dedicated to accredit, certify, and inhibit the '''Joint Commission.'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/01/hospital-regulations/ Doctors and Nurses Form “The Gigantic Commission” to Accredit The Joint Commission]</ref>
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'''References'''
 
'''References'''

Revision as of 04:40, 13 September 2016

The Joint Commission (formerly known as JCAHO, currently known as Those F**kers) an in independent organization that accredits, certifies, and inhibits nearly 21,000 health care organizations and programs in the United States. The Joint Commission is recognized nationwide as a huge "pain in the ass."


Mission


"To continuously get in the way, in collaboration with no health care providers, by evaluating health care organizations and inspiring them to leave health care."


Vision Statement


All health care personnel always feel our Big Brother influence.


How to Become a Member of the Joint Commission


The only requirement to become a member of the Joint Commission is to have absolutely no background medical training. Though this not yet required to practice, the Joint Commission is now offering board certification called the JCBC (Joint Commission Board Certification) for the practice of creating regulations not based on scientific evidence. There has been an uptick in board certification because of the opportunity for adding post-nominal letters.


Controversial Recommendations


The Joint Commission has been causing immense waves with several controversial recommendations over the past several years.

Joint Commission New Regulation Algorithm.jpg
  1. On November 5, 2014, the Joint Commission had leaked an algorithm for the creation of new regulations, which Gomerblog made aware to the general public.[1]
  2. On May 19, 2015, the Joint Commission shut down Doc McStuffins after an audit revealed a myriad of protocol and safety deficiencies, which include but are not limited to HIPAA violations, lack of an EHR, lack of implementation of performance metrics, and child labor law violations.[2] This was a dark day for medicine, as the Joint Commission's powers proved to extend beyond the real world.
  3. On December 8, 2015, the Joint Commission pushed for a new television quality initiative after a patient leapt to his death when his TV was stuck on ''The View'', stating that "Nurses and doctors should know what channels are available and how to quickly address TV malfunctions, as well as providing documentation of the above competencies."[3] Medical personnel got behind the initiative. Except for the documentation part.
  4. On January 19, 2016, the Joint Commission made a rare recommendation that drew the universal support of medical personnel: reversing their ban on caffeinated drinks at the nurses station.[4] Ever since the announcement, there has been a universal decline in errors, morbidity & mortality, bitterness towards fellow humans, and yawning.
  5. On March 18, 2016, a non-expert study conducted by the Joint Commission stated that the physician butthole was the source of all iatrogenic infections. Because providers were already required to wash their hands and hands are less clean than buttholes, the Joint Commission mandated that all physicians have a complete colon cleanse between each patient encounter, using either GoLYTELY or GoHEAVILY.[5] As of September 13, 2016, the Joint Commission is considering extending the mandate to all health care providers, not just physicians.
  6. On April 5, 2016, the Joint Commission mandated a new pain scale, the Strong-Faker Pain Scale, that ranged from 0 to infinity, thereby allowing patients to have pain ratings as high as their imaginations could take them.[6] The Joint Commission felt the epidemic of patients describing their pain as greater than 10 reflected that the Wong-Baker FACES scale had become obsolete. As a result of this measure, the Joint Commission replaced the headaches of health care providers with full-on strokes.
  7. On July 29, 2016, the Joint Commission recommended an annual "Patient Safety Purge" during which the Joint Commission would suspend safety measures for 12-hours. The move was inspired by the movie The Purge with the hope of restoring the moral of health care practitioners and getting "all their dangerous and reckless behaviors out of their system once a year." Some of the safety measures not enforced during the 12-hour window include handwashing, open beverages or eating at the nurses station, isolation, documentation, blindfolded procedures, codes, duty-hour restrictions for residents, vital signs, clinical correlation, use of profanity, or a having a medical license to practice. In fact, the Joint Commission ended its recommendation with the statement Blessed be the Joint Commission, a health care system reborn. May God be with you all.[7]


Balance of Power


To counter the unchecked power of the Joint Commission, health care providers have taken numerous steps.

  1. In October 20145, a movement started to do tear down any Joint Commission tips printed and taped up in bathroom stalls across the health care system, stating, "They may take our beverages away, our ability to effectively treat patients, and our dignity, but they will never take our freedom!"[8]
  2. On January 20, 2015, doctors and nurses joined forces to form the Gigantic Commission, an independent organization dedicated to accredit, certify, and inhibit the Joint Commission.[9]


References


  1. Joint Commission Healthcare New Regulation Algorithm Leaked
  2. Joint Commission Shuts Down McStuffins Clinic for Violations
  3. Patient Leaps to Death After Hospital TV Stuck on The View; Joint Commission Investigating
  4. The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet
  5. Joint Commission Mandates Physicians Have Colon Cleansed Between Each Patient Encounter
  6. Joint Commission Mandates New Pain Scale That Goes to Infinity
  7. The Joint Commission Announces First Annual “Patient Safety Purge”
  8. Petition to Rip Down All Joint Commission Tips and Pearls Sheets from Bathroom Stalls Gaining Momentum
  9. Doctors and Nurses Form “The Gigantic Commission” to Accredit The Joint Commission


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