Difference between revisions of "Surgeon General"
Latest revision as of 03:50, 3 November 2018
The Surgeon General of the United States is the the leading spokesperson on matters of public health in the U.S. government. The current acting Surgeon General is Jerome Adams, who succeeded Vivek Murthy.
The Office of the Surgeon General Under Murthy
- On September 8, 2014, President Obama announced that a colleague of Murthy, Surgeon General Rear Admiral Boris Lushniak would be replaced by Nurse Practitioner General Melody Paton.
- On November 5, 2016, Murthy admitted that condoms do in fact suck.
- On December 1, 2016, Murthy finally did what we all expected: he consulted the Hospitalist General for medical management of the public's medical problems.
The Next Surgeon General
On December 2, 2016, President-elect Donald Trump announced he was appointing Dr. Mehmet Oz to the role of the Surgeon General, saying, "No one knows this stuff better than the great and powerful Dr. Oz. No one. He’s the best. He’s ‘UGE.” This is despite Trump suggesting to Gomerblog back in September of 2015 that if he was elected President would nominate Jenny McCarthy to the post.
The Office of the Surgeon General Under Trent-Adams
- On April 29, 2017, Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams admitted she was unsure who to page regarding the nation's low magnesium level. She did not comment on the nation's potassium level.
- On May 25, 2017, Trent-Adams decided to attack to the opioid epidemic by giving the country a "whopping dose" of Narcan, somewhere on the order of 4 million mg x 1 dose.
- On June 23, 2017, Trent-Adams declared her hatred for the Pyxis Surgeon General.
The Office of the Surgeon General Under Adams
He's been quiet, a little too quiet...
More Electrolyte Reading, Hooray!
- Obama Replaces Surgeon General with Nurse Practitioner General (Gomerblog)
- Surgeon General Admits: Condoms “Kinda Suck” (Gomerblog)
- Surgeon General Consults Hospitalist General for Medical Management (Gomerblog)
- Trump to Appoint Dr. Oz as Surgeon General (Gomerblog)
- If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General (Gomerblog)
- New Nurse Surgeon General Unsure Who to Page about Nation’s Slightly Abnormal Magnesium Level (Gomerblog)
- Team to Replete the Hell Out of Patient’s Potassium (Gomerblog)
- Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan (Gomerblog)
- Nurse Surgeon General Really Hates Working with Pyxis Surgeon General (Gomerblog)