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[[File:Hospital Bed 2011.JPG|400px|thumb|right]]
A '''hospital bed''' is a bed specifically designed for gomers, patients with 20 out of 10 pain, [[Sandwich Deficiency Syndrome|sandwich deficiency syndrome (SDS)]], or any combination of the three. The beds are specially designed to promote discomfort and pressure ulcers for patients, and be a constant source of frustration for nurses and transport. For the cost of about $1000, the '''hospital bed''' has several features that never work.
'''FeaturesWheels'''
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'''Positions'''
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Of the most important functions that do work is the manipulation of the bed's position, including height. The following excerpt from ''The House of God'' explains some of the key heights on the '''hospital bed''':
Other important bed adjustments include [[Trendelenburg]] and [[Reverse Trendelenburg|reverse Trendelenburg]], which is covered elsewhere in Gomerpedia.
'''Side Rails'''
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The main role of the side rails is to yank on a patient's IV, PICC, rectal tube, Foley, and telemetry, and cause bleeding. It's secondary role is to be an anchor for [[Restraints|restraints]].
'''Bed Exit Alarm'''
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This lets the [[Nurses Station|nurses station]] know that the patient just fell out of the bed, and either requires a CT of the head, an XR of the hip, or both. The bed exit alarm achieves nothing from a prevention standpoint. It just lets you know that something bad happened sooner.
'''Related Equipment in the Room'''
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* [[Bathroom]]
* [[Call Light]]
* [[Disposable Glove]]
* [[Gown]]
* [[Suction]]
[[Category:Medical Device]]
[[Category:The House of God]]
