Difference between revisions of "Gouch"
From Gomerpedia
(Created page with "'''Gouch''' is a recurrent inflammatory arthritis so painful that "ouch" is built into the name.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/08/gout/ Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers...") |
(No difference)
|
Revision as of 11:18, 9 September 2016
Gouch is a recurrent inflammatory arthritis so painful that "ouch" is built into the name.[1]
Symptoms
Gouch usually manifests first as podagra: a red, hot, swelling, and painful big toe that makes "walking a bitch." It often happens in the middle of the night for the simple reason that gouch is evil.
Causes
Old-school thinking attributed gouch to elevated uric acid levels due to alcohol, red meat, and seafood, with crystallization at lower temperatures. New-school thinking simply attributes it to the Devil.
Genetics
Screw genetics, it's the Devil, damn it!
Diagnosis
Optional.
Differential Diagnosis
Pneumonia, STEMI.
Treatment
Exorcism, NSAIDs[2], or amputation.
References
- ↑ Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout
- ↑ Area Emergency Physician Successfully Manages Gout Without Consultation
|
Fun Stuff
|
