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Created page with "450px|thumb|right Once thought to be an imaginary childhood disease, the '''cooties''' is major source of Eminem|morbidity..."
[[File:South Bend News-Times, April 7, 1922.JPG|450px|thumb|right]]
Once thought to be an imaginary childhood disease, the '''cooties''' is major source of [[Eminem|morbidity & mortality]] in children under the age of 10 due to a recent wave of noncompliance with regards to the '''cooties''' vaccine.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/cdc-cooties/ Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/anti-vaxxers-cooties/ Breaking: Anti-Vaxxers Refusing Cooties Shot (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''Pathogenesis'''
----
Infection is instantaneous with no latency period. Boy '''cooties''' affects boys, while girl '''cooties''' girls. But in a pattern that puzzles epidemiologists, if a boy "infects" a girl, the girl becomes positive for girl '''cooties''', and if a girl "infects" a boy, the boy becomes positive for boy '''cooties.''' Though the cause is unknown, it does underscore a basic premise espoused by the [[Centers for Disease Control and Prevention]] (CDC): that human beings are disgusting creatures.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/cdc-human-interaction/ CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''Treatment'''
----
None that is immediate. Symptomatic management until middle school when, through the process of aging, it goes away.
'''Prevention'''
----
The most effective thing anyone can do is to vaccinate before ever acquiring the '''cooties'''. Currently, there are two current forms of the '''cooties''' vaccine, both of which are recited and imaginarily drawn on one's deltoid:
#"Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you've got the '''cooties''' shot!" which conveys temporary immunity; and
#"Circle, circe, knife, knife, now you got your shot for life!'''
[[Category:Infectious Diseases]]
[[Category:Pediatrics]]
Once thought to be an imaginary childhood disease, the '''cooties''' is major source of [[Eminem|morbidity & mortality]] in children under the age of 10 due to a recent wave of noncompliance with regards to the '''cooties''' vaccine.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/cdc-cooties/ Breaking: CDC Warns of Cooties Outbreak in Children (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/anti-vaxxers-cooties/ Breaking: Anti-Vaxxers Refusing Cooties Shot (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''Pathogenesis'''
----
Infection is instantaneous with no latency period. Boy '''cooties''' affects boys, while girl '''cooties''' girls. But in a pattern that puzzles epidemiologists, if a boy "infects" a girl, the girl becomes positive for girl '''cooties''', and if a girl "infects" a boy, the boy becomes positive for boy '''cooties.''' Though the cause is unknown, it does underscore a basic premise espoused by the [[Centers for Disease Control and Prevention]] (CDC): that human beings are disgusting creatures.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/cdc-human-interaction/ CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''Treatment'''
----
None that is immediate. Symptomatic management until middle school when, through the process of aging, it goes away.
'''Prevention'''
----
The most effective thing anyone can do is to vaccinate before ever acquiring the '''cooties'''. Currently, there are two current forms of the '''cooties''' vaccine, both of which are recited and imaginarily drawn on one's deltoid:
#"Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you've got the '''cooties''' shot!" which conveys temporary immunity; and
#"Circle, circe, knife, knife, now you got your shot for life!'''
[[Category:Infectious Diseases]]
[[Category:Pediatrics]]