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'''II.''' Gomers go to ground.
'''III.''' At a [[2015 ACLS Algorithm|cardiac arrest]], the first procedure is to take your own pulse.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/03/heart-rate/ Med Student Figures Out Heart Rate: Count Beats in a Day, Divide by 24 Then Again by 60 (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''IV.''' The patient is the one with the disease.
'''V.''' [[Society of Hospital Medicine|Placement]] comes first.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/04/moon-placement/ Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/03/placement-exacerbation/ Patient Admitted for Placement Exacerbation (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/12/placement-medicine/ “Hospital Medicine” Renamed “Placement Medicine” (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/09/placement-hospitalists-perspective/ Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''VI.''' There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with #14 needle and a good strong arm.
'''VIII.''' They can always hurt you more.
'''IX.''' The only good admission is a dead admission.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/09/nurse-keeps-dead-patient/ Nurse Keeps Dead Patient to Prevent Another Admission (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''X.''' If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever.
'''XI.''' Show me a [[Karen Weaselsnout-Jones|BMS ]] who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet.
'''XII.''' If the radiology resident and the BMS both see a lesion on the [[Chest X-Ray|chest X ray]], there can be no lesion there.
'''XIII.''' The delivery of medical care is to do as much [[Nothing|nothing ]] as possible.
'''Related Reading'''
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- [[Card-Flip]]
- [[Dead, dead, dead, dead...]]
- [[Death]]
- [[How do I pronounce a patient dead?]]
- [[Placement]]
- [[Rose Room]]
- [[Three-by-Five Index Card]]
- [[Turf]]
'''References'''
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[[Category:The House of God]]
[[Category:Medical Journals, Textbooks & Other Resources]]