Laws of the House of God
I. Gomers don't die.
II. Gomers go to ground.
III. At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse.[1]
IV. The patient is the one with the disease.
V. Placement comes first.[2][3][4][5]
VI. There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with #14 needle and a good strong arm.
VII. Age + BUN = Lasix dose.
VIII. They can always hurt you more.
IX. The only good admission is a dead admission.[6]
X. If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever.
XI. Show me a BMS who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet.
XII. If the radiology resident and the BMS both see a lesion on the chest X ray, there can be no lesion there.
XIII. The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible.
Quiz
Think you know them all? Then try this quiz! Do You Know the Laws of the House of God?
2016 Updated Laws of the House of God
Refer to the following page to see the 2016 Updated Laws of the House of God.
Related Reading
- Death
- How do I pronounce a patient dead?
- Pager
- Turf
References
- Jump up ↑ Med Student Figures Out Heart Rate: Count Beats in a Day, Divide by 24 Then Again by 60 (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Patient Admitted for Placement Exacerbation (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ “Hospital Medicine” Renamed “Placement Medicine” (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Nurse Keeps Dead Patient to Prevent Another Admission (Gomerblog)
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Fun Stuff
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