Parents

Parents are those people brave enough to have a child. Parents are a subset of family and, generally, are awesome people, especially when it comes to medical care and vaccinations.^[1] In these instances, parents, for lack of a better term, sorta suck.^[2] At any given opportunity, clinics run by parents should be closed^[3], parents who might be anxious or troublesome should be given Ativan (Lorazepam)^[4], and parents who name children based on backwards nouns should be given a hefty eye roll.^[5] For these reasons and also to preserve the sanity of new parents, Congress enacted 80-hour week restrictions for new moms and dads.^[6]