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[[File:US-CDC-Logo.png|250px450px|thumb|leftright]]
The '''Centers for Disease Control and Prevention''' (or the '''CDC''') is a federal agency under the Department of Health and Human Services whose role is to undo the damage caused by the Centers for Disease Chaos and Promotion. (Those guys are such bastards.)
#On February 1, 2017, the '''CDC''' threw in its two cents and told Americans that, if you can help it, you should avoid catching HIV or infections in general. Because, you know, they're bad.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/cdc-hiv/ CDC Recommends Against HIV, Infections in General]</ref>
#On February 10, 2017, the '''CDC''' built upon the foundation laid by the recommendations they made earlier in the month and stated that they recommend against all human creatures, stating humans are "disgusting creatures" that only exist to spread disease and illness.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/cdc-human-interaction/ CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction]</ref>
#On March 15, 2017, the '''CDC''' put the practice of licking eyeballs to rest by formally recommended against it because "that is just totally disgusting."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/03/cdc-licking-eyeballs/ CDC Recommends Against Licking Eyeballs]</ref>