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Thanksgiving

3,077 bytes added, 00:57, 1 December 2017
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[[File:Thanksgiving-Brownscombe.PNG|400px|thumb|left|''The First Thanksgiving. Not pictured: working physicians, nurses, and other medical staff.'']]
'''Thanksgiving''' is an annual holiday in the United States typically held on the fourth Thursday in November, and it is marked by the presence of turkey and the absence of medical providers since who are stuck working in the hospital.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2013/11/thanksgiving/ Hospital Workers Can’t Think of Any Other Place They’d Rather Be on Thanksgiving Day(Gomerblog)]</ref> An exception to this rule are (1) students, who are specifically sent home in order to diagnose family members, ; and (2) hospital administrators, who deserve a break from all that administrating.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/medical-students/ Medical and Nursing Students Return Home This Thanksgiving Ready to Diagnose Their Families(Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/hospital-administrators/ Bold Hospital Planning on Operating Over Thanksgiving Weekend Without Hospital Administrators(Gomerblog)]</ref> The holiday celebrates when the Pilgrims came to North American America in 1621, and were scheduled for overnight call, and thus completely missed missing dinner with the Native Americans. The spirit of Thanksgiving is quickly forgotten the next day when everyone tries to kill one another on [[Black Friday]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/11/black-blue-friday/ ACEP Renames Black Friday “Black & Blue Friday (Gomerblog)]</ref> A similar holiday is held on the second Monday of October in Canada.
'''Carving the Turkey'''
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In the event a surgeon is able to attend Thanksgiving, he or she should never be allowed to carve the turkey; it always ends up butcheredwith everyone questioning the surgeon's career choice.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2013/11/turkey/ Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving(Gomerblog)]</ref> For any other medical provider who carves the [[Turkey Sandwich|turkey]], there will always be that one flashback to gross anatomy. That being said, gunner medical students do get excited when they have the opportunity to be a first assist during a turkey carving.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/11/med-student-excited-first-assist-turkey-carving-thanksgiving/ Med Student Excited to be First Assist for Turkey Carving This Thanksgiving (Gomerblog)]</ref> Before carving the turkey, the turkey should be made NPO after midnight. During carving, [[General Anesthesia|general anesthesia]] is recommended as well as a posterior approach.  '''Breaking the Wishbone'''----'''Thanksgiving''' is one of the busiest days of the year for [[Orthopod|orthopods]], all of whom hate the holiday; for every broken wishbone, an orthopedic surgeon is consulted. That's a lot of wishbones to fix.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/11/ortho-broken-wishbone/ Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone (Gomerblog)]</ref>  '''The Dangers of Gravy'''----On November 22, 2016, the [[Centers for Disease Control and Prevention]] issued a blood-gravy content chart, not dissimilar to existing blood-alcohol content charts, warning Americans this holiday to not get behind the wheel after generous consumption of gravy.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/11/cdc-blood-gravy-content/ CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving (Gomerblog)]</ref> It is not uncommon for the formulaic combination of tryptophan and gravy to put the majority of the United States into a deep coma until the first week of December.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/11/post-prandial-thanksgiving-state/ One Week Later, Americans Finally Waking Up from Post-Prandial Thanksgiving State (Gomerblog)]</ref>  '''That Awkward Moment...'''----Every once in a while, a medical provider will make it home for '''Thanksgiving''' dinner. In the case of neurosurgical resident Michael Duke, who was going through hardest year of his life, he had an awkward moment when he momentarily didn't recognize one of his own children.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/11/neurosurgery-resident-thanksgiving/ Neurosurgery Resident Doesn’t Recognize Own Child at Thanksgiving Dinner (Gomerblog)]</ref>  '''Myths'''----It is not uncommon for interns to boast towards loved ones that they ran an entire hospital by themselves on '''Thanksgiving''' Day. This is false.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/11/internal-medicine-intern/ Internal Medicine Intern Boasts Over Thanksgiving Dinner, “I’m Basically Running the Whole Hospital” (Gomerblog)]</ref>
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The ubiquitous [[Turkey Sandwich|turkey sandwich]] found in hospitals are an homage to the first Thanksgiving call in order to remember those medical providers past and present who have missed a holiday meal.
 
 
'''Related Reading'''
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* [[Blood Gravy Content Chart]]
* [[Gravy Sweats]]
* [[Narcan]]
* [[Turkey Sandwich]]

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