Stick of Butter

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A stick of butter should never be peeled like a banana and eaten like a snack.

Awkward Encounter Between Patient and Provider

PROVIDER (after walking into room): Hi, Mrs... Ummm, whatcha doin'?

PATIENT (removing stick of butter from purse, peeling back the foil, and eating in monstrous bites): I'm hungry, so I thought that I'd have a snack.

PROVIDER (disgusted, almost nauseous): Do you snack like that often?

PATIENT: I sure do!

PROVIDER: So I see you've come in with congestive heart failure.

PATIENT: It always flares up! Do you know why?

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