View source for Laws of the House of God

[[File:The House of God.jpg|500px|thumb|right]]

'''I.'''  Gomers don't die.

'''II.'''  Gomers go to ground.

'''III.'''  At a [[2015 ACLS Algorithm|cardiac arrest]], the first procedure is to take your own pulse.

'''IV.'''  The patient is the one with the disease.

'''V.'''  [[Society of Hospital Medicine|Placement]] comes first.

'''VI.'''  There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with #14 needle and a good strong arm.

'''VII.'''  Age + BUN = [[Lasix (Furosemide)|Lasix]] dose.

'''VIII.'''  They can always hurt you more.

'''IX.'''  The only good admission is a dead admission.

'''X.'''  If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever.

'''XI.'''  Show me a BMS who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet.

'''XII.'''  If the radiology resident and the BMS both see a lesion on the [[Chest X-Ray|chest X ray]], there can be no lesion there.

'''XIII.'''  The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible.


'''Quiz'''
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Think you know them all?  Then try this quiz!  [http://gomerblog.com/quizzes/laws-of-the-house-of-god/ Do You Know the Laws of the House of God?]


'''2016 Updated Laws of the House of God'''
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Refer to the following page to see the [[2016 Updated Laws of the House of God]].


'''Related Reading'''
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- [[How do I pronounce a patient dead?]]

- [[Pager]]

- [[Placement]]

- [[Three-by-Five Index Card]]


'''References'''
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1.  Samuel Shem's ''The House of God'', 1978.

[[Category:The House of God]]
[[Category:Medical Journals, Textbooks & Other Resources]]