17,195
edits
Changes
no edit summary
[[File:Anatomy of a Pager.jpg|400px500px|thumb|leftright|''Figure 19'']]
''"My beeper, man, it's off. They can't get me now." - Chuck, The House of God'' A '''pager''' (or '''beeper''') is that annoying f**king piece of crap that health care providers carry in order to be contacted in the most annoying, anachronistic way possible.
Also, contrary to popular belief, pathologists do carry '''pagers.'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/pathology-pager/ Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight(Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''Sounds a Pager Makes'''
----
Only obnoxious ones. If it's a sound that makes your blood curdle and vomit inside your mouth, then it's a '''pager''' tone.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/09/pager-sounds/ I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight Car Alarm(Gomerblog)]</ref> If it is a subtle or neutral one, then it has no place on a '''pager'''.
There are a few variations of the '''pager''':
#On March 17, 2015, Apple released an Apple Pager, much to the delight of medical personnel since it cost only $1999 and was made with real human retinas.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/03/apple-pager/ What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager(Gomerblog)]</ref># On March 3, 2016, Our Lady of Perpetual Dispo in North Carolina released a new shock-paging system where each user is allowed can deliver a 30,000 volts of electricity directly into the hip of another person in the health care system. The new system has been deemed a success due to the subsequent and dramatic decrease in unnecessary pages and consults, especially from the [[Emergency Room|emergency room]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/03/shock-paging-system/ Hospital Installs Shock-Paging System, Morale Soars (Gomerblog)]</ref>#This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition '''pagers''' that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "[[Born in the U.S.A.]]."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/patriotic-call-lights/ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem(Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''Did You Know?'''
----
[[File:Good Night, Pager.png|550px|thumb|right]]
#Did you know that rather than throwing a '''pager''' off of the rooftop you can simply make the pager [[DNR]]? Just call Palliative Care and they're more than happy to help.
#Did you know it's possible to tell when you and your pager are headed for a break-up? Check out this Gomerblog article: [http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/pager/ Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager]
#Did you know that October 16, 2015 was the first [http://gomerblog.com/2015/10/pager-2/ National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day]? It was a day to celebrate and curse the existence of this garbage device, arguably the health care providers number one source of [[Burnout|burnout]].
#Did you know there is a Gomerblog tutorial on how to return a page?<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/01/video-tutorial-return-page/ Video Tutorial: How to Return a Page (Gomerblog)]</ref>
#Did you know there is algorithm for what to do if you drop your pager in the toilet?<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/dropped-pager-toilet/ So You Dropped Your Pager into the Toilet, What to Do Next (Gomerblog)]</ref>
'''Related Reading'''
----
* [[I Don't Know]]
* [[I dropped my pager in the toilet, now what?]]
* [[Interruptions]]
* [[Is there a way to shut off my pager?]]
* [[Is this my pen?]]
* [[National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day]]
* [[Pager Status]]
* [[Reverse Stethoscope Technique]]
* [[Status Interrupticus]]