Difference between revisions of "Brock Hammersley"

Revision as of 16:27, 18 June 2017

Brock Hammersley is an orthopedic surgeon.

Notable Events in the Life of Brock

1. On August 22, 2015, Hammersley put down his mallet and got his groove on when some Marvin Gaye started playing on the overhead speakers.^[1]
2. On October 2, 2015, Hammersley explained that the ICD-10 codes on babystrollers were absolutely necessary, saying that the "number of people falling from babystrollers is really quite astounding."^[2]
3. On February 15, 2016, Hammersley was befuddled that some lovers broke their carpel bones because they didn't know the mmemonic "Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle."^[3]
4. On April 16, 2016, Hammersley was called in for special ops duty to try to extract two medical colleagues held hostage by a patient who wouldn't stop talking.^[4]
5. On July 16, 2016, Hammersley undertook the gargantuan task of reading Infectious Diseases' epic consult note that started with the phrase "Once upon a time..."^[5]
6. On August 20, 2016, Hammersley only had good things to say when he used the new Swiss Army commode to listen to a patient's bones.^[6]
7. On August 27, 2016, Hammersley was punched in the throat by universally-disliked antisocial worker Timothy Pyro.^[7]
8. On early November 2016, Hammersley played a pivotal role in a quadruple-blind clinical water balloon fight.^[8]
9. On Thanksgiving Day in 2016, Hammersley was consulted to repair a turkey's broken wishbone.^[9]
10. On January 11, 2017, Hammersley repaired his Medicine colleague's stethoscope by slapping on an ex fix.^[10]
11. On January 17, 2017, Hammersley admitted on behalf of orthopods everywhere that they like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.^[11]
12. On February 17, 2017, in the role of Orthopedic Surgeon General of the United States, Hammersley declared that day "National Bone Day."
13. On February 21, 2017, Brock Hammersley wowed his Medicine colleagues when he diagnosed atrial fibrillation with RVR and started a diltiazem gtt all by himself.^[12]
14. On March 10, 2017, Hammersley will be presenting a Grand Rounds at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center entitled "Are Boners Bones? A Review of the Evidence."^[13]
15. On June 18, 2017, Hammersley admitted that he invented CrossFit in under to help send his kids to college.^[14]

Related Reading

- Ex Fix

- Orthopod

- Tom Price

References

1. ↑ ICD-10 Primer, Lesson 4: Babystroller Documentation Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye
2. ↑ ICD-10 Primer, Lesson 4: Babystroller Documentation
3. ↑ Nurse & Doctor Held Hostage by Patient Who Keeps Talking
4. ↑ Nurse & Doctor Held Hostage by Patient Who Keeps Talking
5. ↑ ID’s Epic Consult Note Starts with “Once Upon a Time”
6. ↑ Meet the New Hospital Swiss Army Commode
7. ↑ Staff Not a Fan of New Antisocial Worker
8. ↑ Normal Saline vs. Lactated Ringer’s: Results of a Phase 3 Randomized Quadruple-Blind Clinical Water Balloon Fight
9. ↑ Ortho Consulted to Repair Broken Wishbone
10. ↑ Ortho Stabilizes Stethoscope with External Fixator
11. ↑ Ortho Likes Pina Coladas, Getting Caught in the Rain
12. ↑ Orthopod Bewildered by Internist with Bigger Biceps
13. ↑ Breaking: Grand Rounds Not Particularly Grand Today
14. ↑ Orthopaedic Surgeon Admits to Inventing CrossFit to Finance College for His Children

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