A pager is that annoying f**king piece of crap that health care providers carry in order to be contacted in the most annoying, anachronistic form.
Carrying the Pager
Where one places a pager on their body is a reflection of that person's mood. If the pager is found on a patient's belt or white coat, then that person either is in a good mood or simply forgot to put the pager in a better place, such as at home or on a random hospital drawer. For that reason, it is rare to spot a pager on a sane health care provider.
Sounds a Pager Makes
Only obnoxious ones. If it's a sound that makes your blood curdle and vomit inside your mouth, then it's a pager tone.[1]
Anatomy of a Pager
A pager is made out of misery and cockroach shells. See Figure 19 for more details.
Special Edition Pagers
This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition pagers that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "Born in the U.S.A.."[2]
Did You Know?
- Did you know that rather than throwing a pager off of the rooftop you can simply make the pager DNR? Just call Palliative Care and they're more than happy to help.
- Did you know it's possible to tell when you and your pager are headed for a break-up? Check out this Gomerblog article: Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager
- Did you know that October 16, 2015 was the first National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day? It was day to celebrate and curse the existence of this garbage device.
References
- ↑ I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight Car Alarm
- ↑ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem
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Fun Stuff
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