White Coat

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The white coat (or lab coat) is a long white lab coat with pockets that, over time, becomes the nastiest of fomites. Not only can it carry paperwork and graham crackers, it can also hold unlimited stains in the form of food and bodily fluids.[1] It is aerodynamic, rarely washed, and often shortened to teach upstart residents a lesson.[2][3][4]

Anyone can wear a white coat. Even Janitor once said while wearing a white coat, "It's a white coat. Anybody can wear a white coat.[5] But contrary to popular belief, there are differences between physician white coats, nurse practitioner white coats, phlebotomist white coats, respiratory therapist white coats, physical therapy white coats, physician assistant white coats, and hospital chef white coats.[6]

As much as the white coat has been a symbol of medicine for decades, it will likely be phased out completely to be replaced instead by the sleek and more ubiquitous black fleece pioneered by orthopods, despite the recently broadened array of colors available (not only white).[7][8]

Recent News

White coats have experienced a rebirth. In an effort to strengthen their mental capacities, United States military recruits are required to wear white coats and slowly saunter through an overly-crowded waiting room and emergency room. The new effort has produced some the strongest and finest military personnel to have donned the uniforms by weeding out the weak.[9]

Related Reading


  1. 97% of World’s Graham Cracker Supply Located in Hospital Drawers, White Coat Pockets (Gomerblog)
  2. Super-Aerodynamic White Coat to Shave Seconds Off Rounds (Gomerblog)
  3. After 25th Stain, Doctor Finally Decides to Wash White Coat (Gomerblog)
  4. Resident’s White Coat Shortened in New Public Shaming Tactic (Gomerblog)
  5. Season 2 Episode 5 "My White Coat" (Scrubs)
  6. Know Your White Coats (Gomerblog)
  7. Long White Coats to be Officially Replaced By Black Fleece Jackets (Gomerblog)
  8. Lab Coats Now Available in Brand New Colors (Gomerblog)
  9. Military Training to Now Include Walking Through Busy ER Wearing White Coat (Gomerblog)

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