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Socks are those sexy little numbers you wear over your leg, typically to cover the feet and maybe even the ankles and lower leg too, not so much to keep them to warm but to prevent your bare feet from stepping in puddles of unknown bodily fluids. Instead, the bottom of the socks pick up MRSA, C. diff, and a whole host of other microorganisms, which you can then spread throughout your own home when you decide to continue wearing those socks within the house. Great decision... moron.

Socks with Other Functions

Though all socks achieve the aforementioned purpose to some degrees, there are some other types of socks that have additional functions or are used in specific scenarios:

  1. Hospital Socks - Also known "no slip" or "anti-slip" socks, these socks are made with high-quality rubber treads providing safety in every step: patients will not fall or trip, even if it's on a rocky cliff face. They are even more effective than suction cups and can give patients the freedom to walk up the side of a 100-story skyscraper. Because the boundaries have been pushed and the hospital socks still work their magic, they're starting to be known around the nurses station as antigravity socks.
  2. Contact socks - It can be very embarrassing entering an isolation room wearing a yellow contact precaution gown and have socks that don't match. It's a fashion faux pas. Contact socks are made of the same lightweight, hideously colored material and slip over you usual socks with ease. When you walk into the patient's room, he or she can't help but comment by saying, "I love your matching gown and socks!" You're damn right, I look good, you'll respond.
  3. Ninja socks - The reason why ninjas go undetected through the night and are light on their feet are due to the socks they were. It is unclear what of which material the socks are made since the secret is heavily guarded. What we do know is that they are incapable of making sound, a quality most-desired by a denizen of the night. For health care professionals, ninja socks can be employed to get out of emergency and patient rooms undetected.
  4. Sock puppets - A variation of socks used primarily by anesthesiologists in the operating room. They defy the original purpose of covering the feet and instead are placed on an anesthesiologist's hands for the purpose of entertaining personnel in the Operating Room, even the surgeon. Sock puppets were made famous by Thomas Kingston.[1][2]

Socks by Medical Subspecialty

Do you know what kind of socks you wear based on your subspecialty? If no, read Gomerblog's What Your Socks Look Like by Medical Specialty.

Other Attire in the Hospital


  1. Anesthesiologist Puts Up Drape, Puppet Show for Surgeons (Gomerblog)
  2. Anesthesiologist Behind Drape Plays Peakaboo with Surgeon (Gomerblog)

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