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Patient Satisfaction Survey

4 bytes added, 18:22, 13 September 2016
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# On May 22, 2015, Long Island administrator Michael Brown hired a psychic in order to contact deceased patients and administer '''patient satisfaction surveys''', with particular focus on the "satisfaction with the pathologist and with the autopsy procedure in general."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/patient-satisfaction-4/ Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction]</ref> Unfortunately, the surveys backfired, with decreased patients disapproving of, among many things, "the part where they cut me open and took out all my organs."
# On June 6, 2015, Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence in Cary, North Carolina hoped to boost patient satisfaction scores by mandating that (1) patient baths end with a "happy ending" and (2) [[Turkey Sandwich|turkey sandwiches]] were designed by Wolfgang Puck.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/06/new-patient-satisfaction-initiative/ New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”]</ref>
# On July 22, 2015, [[Gomerblogwww.gomerblog.com|Gomerblog]] reported that a hospital in Columbia, South Carolina was fitting patients with mood rings such as to give medical providers with real-time feedback into patient satisfaction. By allowing feedback on the fly, health care practitioners were in a better position to overtest and overprescribe in order to ensure that patient satisfaction scores were satisfactory.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/mood-rings/ Mood Rings Reflect Real Time Patient Satisfaction]</ref>
# On September 1, 2015, hospital administrator Chaz Moneybags had gotten so used to '''patient satisfaction surveys''' that he asked his sexual partner to fill out a survey out of habit.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/09/hospital-administrator-2/ Hospital Administrator Gives Partner Post-Coital Satisfaction Survey Out Of Habit]</ref>
# On November 11, 2015, Lord Have Mercy Hospital created a Rapid Satisfaction Team to ensure that high Press Ganey scores were achieved with speed and efficiency, irrespective of standards or appropriateness of care.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/11/rapid-response-satisfaction-team/ After Rapid Response, Hospital Administration Organizes Rapid Satisfaction Team]</ref>