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'''The Speaker'''
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A monotone speaker ''must '' be paired with the compensatory insulin spike that will occur with the aforementioned food. In the event that a speaker must choose a topic that doesn't induce sleep, it must induce vomit because what why wouldn't you want to learn about infected eyeballs, diabetic food foot ulcers, or and intestinal worms while eating lunch?<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/10/roundworms/ Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms]</ref>
'''The Residents'''
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The combination of coma-inducing food and a mundane speaker (if it isn't about worms) almost always turns '''noon conference''' into what it is really meant to be for residents: a [[Bedtime Story|bedtime story]] or [[Naptime|naptime]]. This is on top of the well-known mandated nap set forth by the [[ACGME]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/06/naptime/ Naptime Now Required for Residents per GME Guidelines]</ref> According to the latest poll from of residents conducted by the [[ACGME]], '''noon conference''' is synonymous with a 0% information retention rate but and a 100% snoozefest.