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''The First Half''
The Patriots got the ball first. Unfortunately, after an early 3 and out, the Patriots punted the ball to Medicine. The Patriots would struggle getting their offense going, while the Falcons started out fastplayed like they were on inotropes. The Falcons dominated the Patriots, taking a 21-3 lead into halftime. Gomerblog noted on their Twitter feed that the Patriots were "carrying the football like I carry my [[Pager|pager]] looking for any opportunity to give it away," while Bill Belichick "looks intense, taking notes, as if he's studying the [[Krebs Cycle|Krebs cycle]]. As the score was teetering on the edge of what is considered a blowout, many [[American|Americans]] at Super Bowl parties watching the game took the opportunity to take to discuss more interesting topics like concussions or how both IBM Watson and the Fox NFL Robot were more useful than the [[Da Vinci]] surgical robot. At the conclusion of the first half, if you listened closely enough, you could hear everyone in America peeing at the same time.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/01/healthcare-workers/ Forgot-to-Pee Syndrome Afflicting Millions of Health Care Workers]</ref>