Stethoscope
From Gomerpedia
A stethoscope[1] is a relic of the past still used by medical professionals to pretend like they're hearing something on physical exam[2], though they're going to order imaging[3] anyway. It is irregularly shaped, so much so that it is quite ineffective when used as a boomerang. Most experts believe that the stethoscope will follow the path of the doctor's head mirror and fade away in the next 5 years.
There are several types of stethoscopes:
- Doctor's stethoscope[4] - This is a stethoscope used specifically by doctors for doctor things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.).
- Nurse's stethoscope[5] - This is a stethoscope used specifically by nurses for nursing things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.)
- Nurse practitioner's stethoscope - This is a stethoscope used specifically by nurse practitioners for nurse practitioner-related things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.)
- Physician assistant's stethoscope - This is a stethoscope used specifically by physician assistants for physician assistant-related things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.)
- Medical student's stethoscope - This is a stethoscope loaned to any of the above because they forgot their own stethoscope
- Contact precaution stethoscope[6] - Piece of shit, throw it away (see Figure 1.)
References
- Jump up ↑ Pros & Cons of a Stethoscope
- Jump up ↑ Orthopedic Surgeon Finds Strange Sound with Stethoscope, Striker Rep Unable to Determine Source of Noise
- Jump up ↑ Ever Wonder How Radiologists Know What Studies to Recommend?
- Jump up ↑ Littmann to Produce Separate Doctor and Nurse Stethoscopes Thanks to “The View”
- Jump up ↑ Nurses Have Stethoscopes: What Do You Think?
- Jump up ↑ Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope
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