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A CEO (also known as chief executive officer or Lord Emperor) is the highest-ranking person in a health care system, and is best known for perpetually raising the patient-nurse ratios[1], keeping his or her salary high by keeping patient satisfaction high[2], and being a great help in clinic today[3].

Requirements to be a CEO

  1. No medical background.
  2. Infinite supply of nice dark suits.
  3. Infinite supply of shoes as smooth as obsidian.
  4. Favorite golf course.
  5. Huge office with large windows overlooking health care providers who look like ants.


  1. Hospital CEO Praised for Raising Patient:Nurse Ratio to 10:1
  2. New Study Finds Hospital CEO Pay Linked to CEO Satisfaction
  3. Report: Hospital CEO Was a Big Help in Clinic Today

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