Nice Patients

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Nice patients are patients who are nice.[1]

Are They Real?

Yes! You might not have seen one in your career, but they do exist. Unfortunately, they are rarer than ever. According to a last count by the National Patient Service (NPS), there are currently only 2,152 patients left, the lowest number ever documented by the NPS and, believe us, the NPS are master documenters and charters. Thankfully, the federal government recognized this dire situation earlier this year and placed nice patients on the endangered species list.

Tell Me More About These Nice Folks

These patients are completely nice, friendly, often reasonable, not demanding, not drug-seeking, and patient. They say incredibly outdated phrases like "Hello," "Good morning," and "Thank you!" They seem to be very understanding, which is weird. Sometimes they only ask for Tylenol to help manage their pain.[2] They are the elite but scarce patients of modern medicine.

Will Nice Patients Ever Be a Thriving Population Again?

We don't know and only time will tell. We're hopeful that placement on the endangered species list will engender efforts to not only stabilize the population but help with growth. It is unclear if we have reached the point of breeding nice patients in order to ensure future generations for health care professionals, but we will see.

Related Reading


  1. Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List (Gomerblog)
  2. Rare Patient Asks Only for Tylenol for Pain, Receives Standing Ovation (Gomerblog)

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