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[[File:New York Mets Logo.png|400px550px|thumb|right]]
The '''New York Mets''' (or '''New York Metastases''') are a [[Major Depressive Disorder|depressing]] American professional baseball team that really needs to think about changing its name. They are a member of the National League East with [[Malignant Attending Awareness Month|metastatic disease]] and have a life expectancy of 6 months or less.