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[[File:Shake hand.jpg|400px|thumb|leftright|''"You've got a firm and grimy hand, Stan!"'']]

A '''handshake''' is the act of using one's hand to shake another person's hand in a formal exchange of germs. In the event you really want to show your respect to the person whose hand you just shook, proceed to rub your eyes and lick your hands to ensure maximum spread of both germs and gratitude.