Changes

Geared towards residents, '''noon conference''' is a lunchtime conference that has three basic requirements: (1) unhealthy foodthat causes hypertension and diabetes, (2) a speaker who reads off of his or her [[PowerPoint]], and (3) residents who fall asleep.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/powerpoints/ Boring PowerPoints New Leading Cause of Death Among Health Care Practitioners]</ref>

The hallmark of a good '''noon conference''' is unhealthy food or the presence of [http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/diabetic-complications/ cookies]. The presence of a cardiologist as speaker almost often guarantees conference will feature pizza or , something else that causes [http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/bacon-eluting-stents/ thrombosis of the coronary arteries]. The presence of healthy food, like [[Word Salad|salad]] or fruits and vegetables, defeats the purpose of '''noon conference'''."

A monotone speaker ''must '' be paired with the compensatory insulin spike that will occur with the aforementioned food. In the event that a speaker must choose a topic that doesn't induce sleep, it must induce vomit because what why wouldn't you want to learn about infected eyeballs, diabetic food foot ulcers, or and intestinal worms while eating lunch?<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/10/roundworms/ Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms]</ref>

The combination of coma-inducing food and a mundane speaker (if it isn't about worms) almost always turns '''noon conference''' into what it is really meant to be for residents: a [[Bedtime Story|bedtime story]] or [[Naptime|naptime]]. This is on top of the well-known mandated nap set forth by the [[ACGME]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/06/naptime/ Naptime Now Required for Residents per GME Guidelines]</ref> According to the latest poll from of residents conducted by the [[ACGME]], '''noon conference''' is synonymous with a 0% information retention rate but and a 100% snoozefest.