Difference between revisions of "Pager"
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| − | [[File:Anatomy of a Pager.jpg| | + | [[File:Anatomy of a Pager.jpg|400px|thumb|left|''Figure 19'']] |
| − | + | A '''pager''' is that annoying f**king piece of crap that health care providers carry in order to be contacted in the most annoying, anachronistic way possible. | |
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| − | Also, contrary to popular belief, pathologists do carry '''pagers.'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/pathology-pager/ Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight | + | Also, contrary to popular belief, pathologists do carry '''pagers.'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/pathology-pager/ Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight]</ref> |
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'''Sounds a Pager Makes''' | '''Sounds a Pager Makes''' | ||
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| − | Only obnoxious ones. If it's a sound that makes your blood curdle and vomit inside your mouth, then it's a '''pager''' tone.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/09/pager-sounds/ I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight Car Alarm | + | Only obnoxious ones. If it's a sound that makes your blood curdle and vomit inside your mouth, then it's a '''pager''' tone.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/09/pager-sounds/ I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight Car Alarm]</ref> If it is a subtle or neutral one, then it has no place on a '''pager'''. |
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There are a few variations of the '''pager''': | There are a few variations of the '''pager''': | ||
| − | #On March 17, 2015, Apple released an Apple Pager, much to the delight of medical personnel since it cost only $1999 and was made with real human retinas.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/03/apple-pager/ What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager | + | #On March 17, 2015, Apple released an Apple Pager, much to the delight of medical personnel since it cost only $1999 and was made with real human retinas.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/03/apple-pager/ What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager]</ref> |
| − | + | #This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition '''pagers''' that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "[[Born in the U.S.A.]]."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/patriotic-call-lights/ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem]</ref> | |
| − | #This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition '''pagers''' that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "[[Born in the U.S.A.]]."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/patriotic-call-lights/ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem | ||
'''Did You Know?''' | '''Did You Know?''' | ||
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#Did you know that rather than throwing a '''pager''' off of the rooftop you can simply make the pager [[DNR]]? Just call Palliative Care and they're more than happy to help. | #Did you know that rather than throwing a '''pager''' off of the rooftop you can simply make the pager [[DNR]]? Just call Palliative Care and they're more than happy to help. | ||
#Did you know it's possible to tell when you and your pager are headed for a break-up? Check out this Gomerblog article: [http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/pager/ Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager] | #Did you know it's possible to tell when you and your pager are headed for a break-up? Check out this Gomerblog article: [http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/pager/ Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager] | ||
#Did you know that October 16, 2015 was the first [http://gomerblog.com/2015/10/pager-2/ National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day]? It was a day to celebrate and curse the existence of this garbage device, arguably the health care providers number one source of [[Burnout|burnout]]. | #Did you know that October 16, 2015 was the first [http://gomerblog.com/2015/10/pager-2/ National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day]? It was a day to celebrate and curse the existence of this garbage device, arguably the health care providers number one source of [[Burnout|burnout]]. | ||
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Revision as of 10:24, 28 September 2016
A pager is that annoying f**king piece of crap that health care providers carry in order to be contacted in the most annoying, anachronistic way possible.
Receiving a Pager for the First Time as a Student
It may feel like a joyous event at the time, but many people who look back at this moment in their lives describe it as a "dark and dismal day."
Carrying the Pager
Where one places a pager on their body is a reflection of that person's mood. If the pager is found on a patient's belt or white coat, then that person either is in a good mood or simply forgot to put the pager in a better place, such as at home or in a random hospital drawer. For that reason, it is rare to spot a pager on a sane health care provider.
Also, contrary to popular belief, pathologists do carry pagers.[1]
Forwarding the Pager
Forwarding the pager is a surefire way to have an orgasm in the hospital.
Sounds a Pager Makes
Only obnoxious ones. If it's a sound that makes your blood curdle and vomit inside your mouth, then it's a pager tone.[2] If it is a subtle or neutral one, then it has no place on a pager.
Anatomy of a Pager
A pager is made out of misery and cockroach shells. See Figure 19 for more details.
Special Edition Pagers
There are a few variations of the pager:
- On March 17, 2015, Apple released an Apple Pager, much to the delight of medical personnel since it cost only $1999 and was made with real human retinas.[3]
- This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition pagers that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "Born in the U.S.A.."[4]
Did You Know?
- Did you know that rather than throwing a pager off of the rooftop you can simply make the pager DNR? Just call Palliative Care and they're more than happy to help.
- Did you know it's possible to tell when you and your pager are headed for a break-up? Check out this Gomerblog article: Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager
- Did you know that October 16, 2015 was the first National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day? It was a day to celebrate and curse the existence of this garbage device, arguably the health care providers number one source of burnout.
References
- Jump up ↑ Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight
- Jump up ↑ I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight Car Alarm
- Jump up ↑ What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager
- Jump up ↑ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem
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Fun Stuff
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