Difference between revisions of "Stethoscope"

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[[File:Anatomy of a Disposable Stethoscope.jpg|500px|thumb|right|''FIgure 35'']]
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[[File:Anatomy of a Disposable Stethoscope.jpg|300px|thumb|left|''FIgure 35'']]
  
 
A '''stethoscope'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/02/pro-and-cons-stethoscope/ Pros & Cons of a Stethoscope]</ref> is a [[Physical Exam|relic of the past]] still used by medical professionals to pretend like they're hearing something on [http://gomerblog.com/2016/09/ama-holds-funeral-service-for-physical-exam/ physical exam]<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/05/orthopedic-surgeon/ Orthopedic Surgeon Finds Strange Sound with Stethoscope, Striker Rep Unable to Determine Source of Noise]</ref>, though they're going to order imaging<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/06/radiology-study/ Ever Wonder How Radiologists Know What Studies to Recommend?]</ref> anyway.  It is irregularly shaped, so much so that it is quite ineffective when used as a boomerang.  Most experts believe that the '''stethoscope''' will follow the path of the doctor's head mirror and fade away in the next 5 years.
 
A '''stethoscope'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/02/pro-and-cons-stethoscope/ Pros & Cons of a Stethoscope]</ref> is a [[Physical Exam|relic of the past]] still used by medical professionals to pretend like they're hearing something on [http://gomerblog.com/2016/09/ama-holds-funeral-service-for-physical-exam/ physical exam]<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/05/orthopedic-surgeon/ Orthopedic Surgeon Finds Strange Sound with Stethoscope, Striker Rep Unable to Determine Source of Noise]</ref>, though they're going to order imaging<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/06/radiology-study/ Ever Wonder How Radiologists Know What Studies to Recommend?]</ref> anyway.  It is irregularly shaped, so much so that it is quite ineffective when used as a boomerang.  Most experts believe that the '''stethoscope''' will follow the path of the doctor's head mirror and fade away in the next 5 years.
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'''Unfortunately...'''
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'''References'''
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None of these '''stethoscopes''' can be used to examine the heart of Lady Gaga because of all the devices on her chest that obstruct the examiner.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2013/07/lady-gaga-doctor-visit/ Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart]</ref>
 
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'''Fortunately...'''
 
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'''Stethoscopes''' can be quite sexy if you just give them a chance.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/02/sexy-stethoscopes-adults/ Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions]</ref>
 
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'''Fun Fact'''
 
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* Did you know that an orthopod once tried to use a '''[[Stethoscope|stethoscope]]''' to listen to a femur and then an [[Ancef (Cefazolin)|Ancef]] pump?<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/01/femur-stethoscope/ Orthopod Caught Listening to Femur with Stethoscope]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/01/orthopod-auscultates-ancef-pump/ Orthopod Caught Auscultating Ancef Pump]</ref>
 
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* Did you know that on July 22, 1948 P.J. Littmann released the first ever cordless '''stethoscope'''?
 
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'''Gomerblog References'''
 
 
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Revision as of 13:04, 3 December 2016

FIgure 35

A stethoscope[1] is a relic of the past still used by medical professionals to pretend like they're hearing something on physical exam[2], though they're going to order imaging[3] anyway. It is irregularly shaped, so much so that it is quite ineffective when used as a boomerang. Most experts believe that the stethoscope will follow the path of the doctor's head mirror and fade away in the next 5 years.


Types of Stethoscopes

There are several types of stethoscopes:

  1. Doctor's stethoscope[4] - This is a stethoscope used specifically by doctors for doctor things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.).
  2. Nurse's stethoscope[5] - This is a stethoscope used specifically by nurses for nursing things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.)
  3. Nurse practitioner's stethoscope - This is a stethoscope used specifically by nurse practitioners for nurse practitioner-related things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.)
  4. Physician assistant's stethoscope - This is a stethoscope used specifically by physician assistants for physician assistant-related things (listening to heart, lungs, etc.)
  5. Medical student's stethoscope - This is a stethoscope loaned to any of the above because they forgot their own stethoscope
  6. Contact precaution stethoscope[6] - Piece of shit, throw it away (see Figure 35)
  7. Heartbeats by Dr. Dre stethoscopes [7] - Incredible, built in Bluetooth and microphone, with noise cancellation in case you don't want to hear any heart sounds.


References

  1. Jump up ↑ Pros & Cons of a Stethoscope
  2. Jump up ↑ Orthopedic Surgeon Finds Strange Sound with Stethoscope, Striker Rep Unable to Determine Source of Noise
  3. Jump up ↑ Ever Wonder How Radiologists Know What Studies to Recommend?
  4. Jump up ↑ Littmann to Produce Separate Doctor and Nurse Stethoscopes Thanks to “The View”
  5. Jump up ↑ Nurses Have Stethoscopes: What Do You Think?
  6. Jump up ↑ Styrofoam Cup Outperforms Crappy Disposable Stethoscope
  7. Jump up ↑ Product Review: Heartbeats by Dr. Dre Stethoscopes


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