Difference between revisions of "Frying Pan"

Revision as of 03:34, 4 October 2016

"Chef, need to borrow your frying pan; we have an ICU emergency!"

The frying pan is a treatment of last resort used by ICU personnel. Use of a frying pan is the penultimate choice before throwing in the kitchen sink. The frying pan is mostly used in the management of a severely-agitated patient when restraints; a 1-to-1 or an 11-to-1 sitter^[1]; and medications like benzodiazepines (think Ativan), antipsychotics (think Haldol), opioids (think fentanyl), and propofol (think propofol) do not work.

Since dealing with an agitated patient can be very stressful, be sure that if you resort to a frying pan you actually grab a frying pan. It is not uncommon in the heat of the moment to accidentally grab another kitchen utensil such as a strainer or colander, only to find that it has too much give to be effective. (In the rare instance you grab a rolling pin, this may have similar efficacy to a frying pan.)

To use a frying pan, simply raise above your head to achieve enough momentum, then in a swift but comedic blow similar to many Vaudeville acts of the early 20th century knock the patient out but avoid instigating fatal head trauma. If you have succeeded, proceed to thoroughly wash the frying pan of any sweat and blood and then proceed to make a round of scrambled eggs for the team to thank them for the their hard work.

References

1. ↑ Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter

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