Super Bowl LI
Super Bowl LI took place on February 5, 2017 in Houston, TX between the Atlanta Falcons and New England Patriots. The Patriots defeated the Falcons in dramatic fashion, winning 34-28 in overtime (OT), thereby ensuring anyone who watched the game was exhausted for work Monday morning and therefore compromised patient care.
Before the Game
In the weeks before Super Bowl LI, many experts predicted a shootout between the two teams given that the Falcons had the No. 1 ranked offense and the Patriots had the No. 4 ranked offense. Because of the numerous weapons at the disposal of both quarterbacks (or field generals, as George Carlin would more accurately suggest), such as short bullets, shotguns, and long bombs, emergency crews and trauma teams in the metro Houston area were on high alert and prepared for a potential bloodbath.[1]
The Game
The game was a tale of two halves.
The First Half
In the first half, the Falcons dominated the Patriots, taking a 21-3 lead into halftime. As the score was teetering on the edge of what is considered a blowout, many Americans at Super Bowl parties watching the game took the opportunity to take to discuss more interesting topics like concussions.
The Second Half
The Patriots remained lackadaisical for most of the 3rd quarter, with the Falcons building their lead up to 25 points with a score of 28-3. At this point, leading experts such as Gomerblog recommended the Patriots become DNR with plans for inpatient hospice given the rate of decline. Fortunately for Patriots Nation, Belichick & Brady remained Full Code and executed the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history.
After the Game
Still unable to process the defeat, members of the Falcons including Dan Quinn and Matt Ryan had only one plausible explanation: it was anesthesia's fault.[2] Short of that, there was no other reason to explain this ultimate of choke jobs.[3]
- ↑ Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
- ↑ Falcons Blame Super Bowl Loss on Anesthesia
- ↑ Study: Heimlich Maneuver Not Effective on Choking Athletes
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