17,195
edits
Changes
no edit summary
# On May 1, 2013, the CDC granted state governments the right to quarantined unvaccinated families in what was called Proposition 23.4.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/05/quarantine/ CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families]</ref>
# On August 24, 2014, the CDC warned Americans about an emerging domestic threat called panniculolithiasis, a calcification on imaging ultimately found to be buried under a patient's [[Pannus|pannus]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/08/disease-2/ CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed “Panniculolithiasis”]</ref>
# On October 16, 2014, the CDC responded to growing concerns about the Ebola virus by issuing a disease-containment algorithm called "For the Love of God, Just Burn Everything."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/10/cdc-ebola/ CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything]</ref> It was the first CDC guideline ecstatically recommending the use of gasoline and matches.
# On October 22, 2014, the CDC discovered that man from Raleigh, North Carolina contracted Ebola virus through a [[Patient Satisfaction Survey|patient satisfaction survey]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/10/cdc-ebola-2/ CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys]</ref>
# On October 31, 2014, the CDC decided to deal with anti-vaxxers by funding a trip to "send every last one of them overseas.".<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/10/cdc-fund-anti-vaxxer-africa-trip/ CDC to Fund Anti-Vaxxer Africa Trip]</ref> This was met with resounding approval from the medical establishment.
# On January 16, 2016, the CDC identified a new insect vector called the dry-humping bug.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/01/cdc-dry-humping-bug/ CDC Warning: Dangerous “Dry Humping” Bug Found in Lower U.S.]</ref>
# On March 6, 2016, the CDC issued a major reminder to health care providers nationwide that the adjective of pus is "purulent", not "p**sy."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/03/cdc-purulent/ CDC: The Adjective of Pus is “Purulent,” Not “P**sy”]</ref> Unfortunately, the reminder had the opposite effect; the word "p**sy" is being said and documented in record levels.
# On April 9, 2016, in response to the emerging threat of the Zika virus, the CDC implored mosquitoes to wear tiny condoms in order to control the spread.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/04/zika-virus/ CDC Urges Mosquitos to Wear Tiny Condoms to Fight Zika Virus]</ref> Mosquitoes have disregarded the recommendation, stating that mosquito sex with those tiny condoms "just don't feel the same."
