Endotracheal Tube

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An endotracheal tube is a specially-designed catheter that is inserted into the trachea via the nose or mouth for the primary purpose of suppressing a cough and the secondary purpose of securing a patient airway. If the endotracheal tube is found in another orifice - ear canal, rectum, and urethra are some examples - consider it the consequence of a tired health care professional.[1][2][3]


Construction


Most endotracheal tubes are made of polyvinyl chloride, but there are other tubes made with bacon or lard to help improve patient satisfaction scores. All tubes, though, have an inflatable cuff, not only to prevent air leakage but also to ensure a bloody mess when the patient self-extubates.[4] Though 99% of endotracheal tubes currently in use are of the nonmusical variety, a new company called Party-Goof is turning heads with their musical endotracheal tubes to brighten an otherwise dismal ICU setting. Early experience with these has been nothing short of positive, with many highly-approving of the "Womp womp womp waahhhhhh” sound emitted at the time of a dying patient's terminal extubation.[5]


Indications for an Endotracheal Tube


  1. Inability to stop coughing[6]
  2. Inability to protect the airway when pronouncing polysyllabic medications[7]
  3. Failure to stop talking[8][9]
  4. Health care professional forgot to eat[10]


Removal


Easy: send to the radiology department.[11]


Read or Regret It!



References


  1. Tired Critical Care Fellow Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Rectum (Gomerblog)
  2. Tired Anesthesiologist Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Ear Canal (Gomerblog)
  3. Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube (Gomerblog)
  4. ICU Physician Unveils New Self-Extubation Order Set (Gomerblog)
  5. Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU (Gomerblog)
  6. Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube (Gomerblog)
  7. Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated (Gomerblog)
  8. Nurse & Doctor Held Hostage by Patient Who Keeps Talking (Gomerblog)
  9. Med Student Wastes Dying Patient’s Last Moments on Earth Talking About Damn Krebs Cycle (Gomerblog)
  10. Doctor Orders Food Trays for Intubated Patients, Eats for Free (Gomerblog)
  11. Tip: If You Need to Extubate Patient, Send to Radiology (Gomerblog)


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