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In a matter of months, '''COVID-19''' had spread to all continents except Antarctica, suggesting that Antarctica somehow has some partial immunity. The [[World Health Organization]] declared that '''COVID-19''' was officially a pandemic, thus becoming the last major medical society to realize this. With the exception of China, Taiwan, and South Korea, measures aimed at containment have largely failed. Bribery has failed. Most nations now are looking at strategies involving mitigation or masturbation, whichever one means "to reduce the severity or spread."
In the United States, the NBA was suspended when its first player, Rudy Gobert, tested positive for coronavirus. As students or teachers tested positive for '''COVID-19''', schools closed, including New York City's public school system, which is the largest in the country. As patients and health care professionals tested positive for '''COVID-19''', hospitals followed suit and closed as well.<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/hospitals-close-patients-test-positive-covid-19/ U.S. Hospitals to Close After Patients Test Positive for COVID-19 (Gomerblog)]</ref> The situation got so dire that aliens postponed their invasion of Earth due to concerns over '''COVID-19'''.<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/aliens-postpone-earth-invasion-due-to-coronavirus-concerns/ Aliens Postpone Earth Invasion Due to Coronavirus Concerns (Gomerblog)]</ref>
Reports suggest that coronavirus is capable of moving back in time.<ref>[https://www.theonion.com/who-warns-outbreaks-in-victorian-england-confirm-corona-1842123259/ WHO Warns Outbreaks In Victorian England Confirm Coronavirus Capable Of Spreading Through Time (The Onion)]</ref>.
'''Treatments'''
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Treatment is largely supportive as there in the form of excess toilet paper.<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/brilliant-butthole-sign-diagnostic-tp-hoarding/ Study: ‘Brilliant Butthole Sign’ Diagnostic of TP Hoarding (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/breaking-covid-19-found-in-toilet-paper/ Breaking: COVID-19 Found in Toilet Paper I(Gomerblog)]</ref> There are currently no known treatments for '''COVID-19'''. Interventions such as prayer, screaming "WHY GOD WHY?!" and remdesivir are currently going. A study involving Kaletra (lopinavir/ritonavir) produced disappointment results, as did the ones that looked at [[Sodium Bicarbonate|sodium barb]] and [[Precordial Thump|precordial thumps]]. There was controversy when French health minister, Olivier Véran, warned that [[NSAIDs]] should be avoided In patients with confirmed '''COVID-19'''. This recommended has not been implemented in the United States due to large opposition of military health care professionals who state that eliminating [[NSAIDs]] essentially eliminates all that a military health care professional can offer.
* ''Supply of health care professionals'' - Contact tracing of the first U.S. cases of '''COVID-19''' led to the 2-week self-quarantine of anywhere from 40 to 200 health care workers. In the event of a patient surge, such quarantine protocols would eventually deplete the work force. Subspecialists are the most sensible back-ups given their prior training in medicine or surgery. OB/GYNs have already volunteered their services on the front line, but radiologists are already being drafted, putting them in the unique position of performing their own [[Clinical Correlation|clinical correlations]]. In the extreme event that shortages still persist, first-year medical students and undergraduate students contemplating a career in health care will serve as backup.
* ''Supply of ventilators'' - It is very possible that the American trajectory of '''COVID-19''' will lead to a Northern Italy-like surge that will lead to a shortage of hospital beds & ventilators. To bridge the gap, the American Medical Student Association will provide medical students who will bag patients until ventilators become available.
* ''COVID-19's Effect on the Global Economy'' - '''COVID-19''' has arrested economic activity, causing markets to crash worldwide. The United States has been trying to combat recession with stimulus packages aimed at providing Americans with more toilet paper and [[Xanax (Alprazolam)|Xanax (alprazolam)]].<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/covid-19-house-relief-package-toilet-paper/ COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/covid-19-congress-to-send-1000-pills-of-xanax-to-every-american/ COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American (Gomerblog)]</ref> It speaks volume that all of the blame has been directed at '''COVID-19''', not [[Blame Anesthesia Algorithm|Anesthesia]].
