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COVID-19

75 bytes added, 09:32, 28 March 2020
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* ''Supply of health care professionals'' - Contact tracing of the first U.S. cases of '''COVID-19''' led to the 2-week self-quarantine of anywhere from 40 to 200 health care workers. In the event of a patient surge, such quarantine protocols would eventually deplete the work force. Subspecialists are the most sensible back-ups given their prior training in medicine or surgery. OB/GYNs have already volunteered their services on the front line, but radiologists are already being drafted, putting them in the unique position of performing their own [[Clinical Correlation|clinical correlations]].<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/radiologist-drafted-into-direct-patient-care-forced-to-perform-own-clinical-correlation/ Radiologist Drafted Into Direct Patient Care, Forced to Perform Own Clinical Correlation (Gomerblog)]</ref> Orthopedic surgeons are relearning ICU things.<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/orthopaedic-surgeons-attempting-to-re-learn-icu-things-🤦%E2%80%8D♂%EF%B8%8F/ Orthopaedic Surgeons Attempting to “Re-learn” ICU Things (Gomerblog)]</ref> In the extreme scenario shortages still persist, first-year medical students, undergraduate students contemplating a career in health care, and toddlers with Fisher-Price [[Stethoscope|stethoscopes]] will serve as backup.
* ''Supply of ventilators'' - It is very possible that the American trajectory of '''COVID-19''' will mimic Northern Italy, leading to a shortage of ventilators. To bridge the gap, the American Medical Student Association will provide medical students to bag those patients until ventilators become available.<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/covid-19-vent-shortage-med-students-bag/ COVID-19 Solution: In Event of Vent Shortage, Med Students Will Bag Indefinitely (Gomerblog)]</ref> Additionally, the CDC has pledged to make over 10,000 flawed ventilators.
* ''COVID-19's effect on global markets'' - '''COVID-19''' has arrested economic activity, causing markets to crash worldwide. The United States has been trying to combat recession through multiple routes. The Federal Reserve Bank of New York has slashed interest rates to near zero and plans to buy back $500 billion in Treasury and security-backed bonds. It is also considering pushing 1 amp of bicarb. Congress has rapidly approved stimulus packages aimed at providing Americans with more toilet paper and [[Xanax (Alprazolam)|Xanax (alprazolam)]].<ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/covid-19-house-relief-package-toilet-paper/ COVID-19: House Relief Package to Provide Billions & Billions of Dollars of Toilet Paper (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[https://gomerblog.com/2020/03/covid-19-congress-to-send-1000-pills-of-xanax-to-every-american/ COVID-19: Congress to Send 1,000 Pills of Xanax to Every American (Gomerblog)]</ref> It speaks volumes that all of the blame thus far has been directed at '''COVID-19''', not [[Blame Anesthesia Algorithm|Anesthesia]], suggesting that the apocalypse has in fact arrived.

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