Changes

#On November 18, 2013, the '''CDC ''' was humbled when they traced a deadly carbapenem-resistant ''Enterobacteriaceae'' outbreak to a break room within the '''CDC ''' infection control department.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2013/11/cdc/ CDC Break Room Found to Be Culprit in New Bacterial Outbreak]</ref># On May 1, 2013, the '''CDC ''' granted state governments the right to quarantined quarantine unvaccinated families in what was called Proposition 23.4.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/05/quarantine/ CDC Plans to Move and Quarantine Unvaccinated Families]</ref># On August 24, 2014, the '''CDC ''' warned Americans about an emerging domestic threat called panniculolithiasis, a calcification on imaging ultimately found to be buried under a patient's [[Pannus|pannus]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/08/disease-2/ CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed “Panniculolithiasis”]</ref># On October 16, 2014, the '''CDC ''' responded to growing concerns about the Ebola virus by issuing a disease-containment algorithm called "For the Love of God, Just Burn Everything."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/10/cdc-ebola/ CDC Releases Revised Ebola Management Policy for Healthcare Workers: Just Burn Everything]</ref> It was the first '''CDC ''' guideline ecstatically recommending endorsing the use of gasoline and matches.# On October 22, 2014, the '''CDC ''' discovered that a man from Raleigh, North Carolina contracted Ebola virus through a [[Patient Satisfaction Survey|patient satisfaction survey]].<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/10/cdc-ebola-2/ CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys]</ref># On October 31, 2014, the '''CDC ''' decided to deal with anti-vaxxers by funding a trip to "send every last one of them overseas.".<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/10/cdc-fund-anti-vaxxer-africa-trip/ CDC to Fund Anti-Vaxxer Africa Trip]</ref> This was met with resounding approval from the medical establishment.# On January 16, 2016, the '''CDC ''' identified a new insect vector called the dry-humping bug.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/01/cdc-dry-humping-bug/ CDC Warning: Dangerous “Dry Humping” Bug Found in Lower U.S.]</ref># On March 6, 2016, the '''CDC ''' issued a major reminder to health care providers nationwide that the adjective of pus is "purulent", not "p**sy."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/03/cdc-purulent/ CDC: The Adjective of Pus is “Purulent,” Not “P**sy”]</ref> Unfortunately, the reminder had the opposite effect; as of September 18, 2016, the word "p**sy" is being said and documented in record levels.# On April 9, 2016, in response to the emerging threat of the Zika virus, the '''CDC ''' implored mosquitoes to wear tiny condoms in order to control the spread.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/04/zika-virus/ CDC Urges Mosquitos to Wear Tiny Condoms to Fight Zika Virus]</ref> Mosquitoes have disregarded the '''CDC''' recommendation, stating that mosquito sex with those tiny condoms "just dondoesn't feel the same."# On April 23, 2016, the '''CDC ''' recommended that Robert De Niro be put in jail.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/04/anti-vax-de-niro-vaccine/ CDC Advises Robert De Niro to be Sent to Jail Until Deemed Safe]</ref> # On May 20, 2016, the '''CDC ''' reported the discovery of a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thus absolving patients from all the blame.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/05/virus-noncompliance/ CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus]</ref># On May 25, 2016, the three wise monkeys supported the CDC's recent opioid guidelinesreleased by the '''CDC''', stating, "See no Dilaudid, hear no Dilaudid, speak no Dilaudid."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/05/three-wise-monkeys/ http://gomerblog.com/2016/05/three-wise-monkeys/]</ref># On July 12, 2016, the '''CDC ''' reminded Americans that those "feeling the burn" should get checked by a medical professional as it may not necessarily be a side effect of supporting Bernie Sanders for President.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/with-sanders-out-of-2016-race-cdc-urges-those-still-feeling-the-burn-to-seek-medical-care-immediately/ With Sanders Out of 2016 Race, CDC Urges Those Still “Feeling the Burn” to Seek Medical Care Immediately]</ref># On July 24, 2016, the '''CDC ''' recommended immediate cessation of all vaccination programs.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/vaccines-2/ Startling Report: CDC Recommends AGAINST Vaccinations, Anti-Vaxxers Now Demanding Their Right to Vaccinate]</ref>