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Created page with "A '''July intern''' is the first month that a graduating medical student actually practices as a real doctor. In other, a '''July intern''' is a deer in headlights except les..."
A '''July intern''' is the first month that a graduating medical student actually practices as a real doctor. In other, a '''July intern''' is a deer in headlights except less likely to survive. The goal of a '''July intern''' is to survive. The goal of patients under the care of a '''July intern'' is to survive as well.
'''Characteristics of a July Intern'''
----
Though the initial few moments of a '''July intern's''' day might be filled with positive energy and optimism, it very quickly degrades.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/medicine-intern/ Ask a July 1st Medicine Intern]</ref> For one, the downfall starts when a '''July intern''' starts getting lost within the hospital.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/residency-programs-2/ Residency Programs Nationwide Call Jeopardy to Replace New Interns Lost in Stairwells]</ref> A '''July intern''' may further be rattled by a [[Code Blue]] for which their immediate instinctive response is to hide in a [[Supply Closet]] or suck one's thumb.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/july-intern/ July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb]</ref> By mid-morning, a '''July intern''' does not appear any different than an ER patient who is about to be admitted: chest pain, shortness of breath, palpitations, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, urinary and bowel incontinence, and syncope.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/intern-cant-hold-pee/ Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self]</ref> Dehydration is very common among '''July interns''' due to the loss of fluids through not only bladder and bowel incontinence but also persistent, neverending crying and forgetting to eat and drink entirely.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/crying-july-1st-interns-spotted/ Breaking: First Batch of Crying July 1st Interns Spotted]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/03/burnout/ Tips: How to Improve Your Daily Cry at Work Due to Burnout]</ref> Do not surprised if a '''July intern''' turns to complete strangers for advice, food, or a hug.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/08/intern-asking-just-one-hug/ Struggling Intern Asking for “Just One Hug”]</ref>
'''The Difference Between a July Intern and a June Intern'''
----
This is best summarized here: [http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/june-vs-july-interns/ July vs. June Interns].
''Impact on Society'''
----
The influence of '''July interns''' on modern society cannot be understated. Just by showing up to work on [[July]], the chances of in-hospital fatality skyrockets towards infinity. It is so concerning that attempts have been made to eliminate July from the calendar entirely.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/06/decreases-mortality/ Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%]</ref> In the event an 11-month calendar cannot be created, nurses are often seen fleeing the healthcare system in record numbers under the guise of vacation leave.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/july-vacation/ July Interns Forcing Nurses to Take July Vacation in Record Numbers]</ref>
However, one sector of the economy does benefit from '''July interns''': the toilet paper industry. The act of '''July interns''' sh*tting themselves has led to a predictable pattern of TP sales where toilet paper companies like Charmin see record sales as the month of July progresses.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/charmin-expects-summer-profits/ Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves]</ref>
'''References'''
----
<references />
[[Category:Phrases & Expressions]]
[[Category:Residents]]
'''Characteristics of a July Intern'''
----
Though the initial few moments of a '''July intern's''' day might be filled with positive energy and optimism, it very quickly degrades.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/medicine-intern/ Ask a July 1st Medicine Intern]</ref> For one, the downfall starts when a '''July intern''' starts getting lost within the hospital.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/residency-programs-2/ Residency Programs Nationwide Call Jeopardy to Replace New Interns Lost in Stairwells]</ref> A '''July intern''' may further be rattled by a [[Code Blue]] for which their immediate instinctive response is to hide in a [[Supply Closet]] or suck one's thumb.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/july-intern/ July Interns Play Crucial Role During Cardiac Arrest by Whimpering, Sucking Own Thumb]</ref> By mid-morning, a '''July intern''' does not appear any different than an ER patient who is about to be admitted: chest pain, shortness of breath, palpitations, abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, urinary and bowel incontinence, and syncope.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/intern-cant-hold-pee/ Breaking: Intern Can’t Hold It, Pees on Self]</ref> Dehydration is very common among '''July interns''' due to the loss of fluids through not only bladder and bowel incontinence but also persistent, neverending crying and forgetting to eat and drink entirely.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/crying-july-1st-interns-spotted/ Breaking: First Batch of Crying July 1st Interns Spotted]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/03/burnout/ Tips: How to Improve Your Daily Cry at Work Due to Burnout]</ref> Do not surprised if a '''July intern''' turns to complete strangers for advice, food, or a hug.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/08/intern-asking-just-one-hug/ Struggling Intern Asking for “Just One Hug”]</ref>
'''The Difference Between a July Intern and a June Intern'''
----
This is best summarized here: [http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/june-vs-july-interns/ July vs. June Interns].
''Impact on Society'''
----
The influence of '''July interns''' on modern society cannot be understated. Just by showing up to work on [[July]], the chances of in-hospital fatality skyrockets towards infinity. It is so concerning that attempts have been made to eliminate July from the calendar entirely.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/06/decreases-mortality/ Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%]</ref> In the event an 11-month calendar cannot be created, nurses are often seen fleeing the healthcare system in record numbers under the guise of vacation leave.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/07/july-vacation/ July Interns Forcing Nurses to Take July Vacation in Record Numbers]</ref>
However, one sector of the economy does benefit from '''July interns''': the toilet paper industry. The act of '''July interns''' sh*tting themselves has led to a predictable pattern of TP sales where toilet paper companies like Charmin see record sales as the month of July progresses.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/charmin-expects-summer-profits/ Charmin Profits As July Interns Sh*t Themselves]</ref>
'''References'''
----
<references />
[[Category:Phrases & Expressions]]
[[Category:Residents]]
