Difference between revisions of "Pager"
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'''Carrying the Pager''' | '''Carrying the Pager''' | ||
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| − | Where one places a '''pager''' on their body is a reflection of that person's mood. If the '''pager''' is found on a patient's belt or [[White Coat|white coat]], then that person either is in a good mood or simply forgot to put the '''pager''' in a better place, such as at home or on a random hospital drawer. For that reason, it is rare to spot a '''pager''' on a sane health care provider. | + | Where one places a '''pager''' on their body is a reflection of that person's mood. If the '''pager''' is found on a patient's belt or [[White Coat|white coat]], then that person either is in a good mood or simply forgot to put the '''pager''' in a better place, such as at home or on a random hospital drawer. For that reason, it is rare to spot a '''pager''' on a sane health care provider. Also, contrary to popular belief, pathologists do carry '''pagers.'''<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2014/11/pathology-pager/ Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight]</ref> |
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| + | '''Forwarding the Pager''' | ||
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| + | Forwarding the '''pager''' is a surefire way to have an orgasm in the hospital. | ||
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'''Special Edition Pagers''' | '''Special Edition Pagers''' | ||
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| − | This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition '''pagers''' that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "[[Born in the U.S.A.]]."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/patriotic-call-lights/ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem]</ref> | + | There are a few variations of the '''pager''': |
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| + | #On March 17, 2015, Apple released an Apple Pager, much to the delight of medical personnel since it cost only $1999 and was made with real human retinas.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/03/apple-pager/ What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager]</ref> | ||
| + | #This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition '''pagers''' that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "[[Born in the U.S.A.]]."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/patriotic-call-lights/ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem]</ref> | ||
Revision as of 09:10, 28 September 2016
A pager is that annoying f**king piece of crap that health care providers carry in order to be contacted in the most annoying, anachronistic form.
Carrying the Pager
Where one places a pager on their body is a reflection of that person's mood. If the pager is found on a patient's belt or white coat, then that person either is in a good mood or simply forgot to put the pager in a better place, such as at home or on a random hospital drawer. For that reason, it is rare to spot a pager on a sane health care provider. Also, contrary to popular belief, pathologists do carry pagers.[1]
Forwarding the Pager
Forwarding the pager is a surefire way to have an orgasm in the hospital.
Sounds a Pager Makes
Only obnoxious ones. If it's a sound that makes your blood curdle and vomit inside your mouth, then it's a pager tone.[2]
Anatomy of a Pager
A pager is made out of misery and cockroach shells. See Figure 19 for more details.
Special Edition Pagers
There are a few variations of the pager:
- On March 17, 2015, Apple released an Apple Pager, much to the delight of medical personnel since it cost only $1999 and was made with real human retinas.[3]
- This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition pagers that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "Born in the U.S.A.."[4]
Did You Know?
- Did you know that rather than throwing a pager off of the rooftop you can simply make the pager DNR? Just call Palliative Care and they're more than happy to help.
- Did you know it's possible to tell when you and your pager are headed for a break-up? Check out this Gomerblog article: Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager
- Did you know that October 16, 2015 was the first National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day? It was day to celebrate and curse the existence of this garbage device.
References
- ↑ Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight
- ↑ I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight Car Alarm
- ↑ What We Like & Dislike About the New Apple Pager
- ↑ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem
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Fun Stuff
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