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[[File:Anatomy of a Pager.jpg|400px|thumb|left|''Figure 19'']]
A '''pager''' is that annoying f**king piece of crap that health care providers carry in order to be contacted in the most annoying, anachronistic form.
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Where one places a '''pager''' on their body is a reflection of that person's mood. If the '''pager''' is found on a patient's belt or [[White Coat|white coat]], then that person either is in a good mood or simply forgot to put the '''pager''' in a better place, such as at home or on a random hospital drawer. For that reason, it is rare to spot a '''pager''' on a sane health care provider.
'''Sounds a Pager Makes'''
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Only obnoxious ones. If it's a sound that makes your blood curdle and vomit inside your mouth, then it's a '''pager''' tone.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2015/09/pager-sounds/ I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight Car Alarm]</ref>
'''Anatomy of a Pager'''
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A '''pager ''' is made out of misery and cockroach shells. See Figure 19 for more details. [[File:Anatomy of a Pager.jpg|400px|thumb|left]]
'''Special Edition Pagers'''
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This past Fourth of July, health care systems rolled out special edition '''pagers ''' that played patriotic songs such as the "Star-Spangled Banner" or "[[Born in the U.S.A.]]."<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/07/patriotic-call-lights/ Patriotic Call Lights, Pagers to Play National Anthem]</ref> '''Did You Know?'''----#Did you know that rather than throwing a '''pager''' off of the rooftop you can simply make the pager [[DNR]]? Just call Palliative Care and they're more than happy to help.#Did you know it's possible to tell when you and your pager are headed for a break-up? Check out this Gomerblog article: [http://gomerblog.com/2015/05/pager/ Top 10 Signs It’s Time to Break Up with Your Pager]#Did you know that October 16, 2015 was the first [http://gomerblog.com/2015/10/pager-2/ National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day]? It was day to celebrate and curse the existence of this garbage device.
