Difference between revisions of "Dilaudid (Hydromorphone)"

Revision as of 16:42, 30 June 2017

F**k you, Dilaudid!^{[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25]}

For the Love of Pete, Please Try These First!

- 101 Drug Seekers

- ACP Guidelines for the Management of Low Back Pain

- COX-2 Inhibitor

- Tylenol (Acetaminophen)

- Ibuprofen

- Coffee

- Sleeping Beauty

- Special K

- Turkey Sandwich

References

1. ↑ Goop From ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid
2. ↑ Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid
3. ↑ Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside
4. ↑ Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA
5. ↑ ER Hires “Dilaudid Nazi” to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids
6. ↑ Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid
7. ↑ Local Hospital Has New Policy: Ask for Dilaudid, Get Dilaudid, No Questions Asked
8. ↑ North Korea Hacks ER Pyxis Machines Nationwide, Renders Them Unable to Dispense Dilaudid
9. ↑ Natural Dilaudid Spring Discovered in Alps; Drug Seekers Scramble for Climbing Gear, Airline Tickets
10. ↑ Patient Perfects “Sliding Scale Dilaudid” Regimen at Home
11. ↑ Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt
12. ↑ Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much
13. ↑ Modified DEA License Allows Healthcare Practitioners to Not Prescribe Dilaudid
14. ↑ Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
15. ↑ Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
16. ↑ Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
17. ↑ Exciting New Medical App Allows Patients to Preorder Dilaudid Before ER Arrival
18. ↑ Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears
19. ↑ Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid
20. ↑ Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
21. ↑ Allergy-Sniffing Dog Weeds Out Dilaudid-Seeking Liars
22. ↑ Three Wise Monkeys Support CDC Opioid Guidelines: “See No Dilaudid, Hear No Dilaudid, Speak No Dilaudid”
23. ↑ Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”
24. ↑ Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to “That One That Starts with a D”
25. ↑ ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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