Dilaudid (Hydromorphone)

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F**k you, Dilaudid![1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9][10][11][12][13][14][15][16][17][18][19][20][21][22][23][24][25]

For the Love of Pete, Please Try These First!

Gomerblog References

  1. Goop From ER Break Room Becomes Sentient, Asks for Dilaudid
  2. Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid
  3. Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside
  4. Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA
  5. ER Hires “Dilaudid Nazi” to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids
  6. Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid
  7. Local Hospital Has New Policy: Ask for Dilaudid, Get Dilaudid, No Questions Asked
  8. North Korea Hacks ER Pyxis Machines Nationwide, Renders Them Unable to Dispense Dilaudid
  9. Natural Dilaudid Spring Discovered in Alps; Drug Seekers Scramble for Climbing Gear, Airline Tickets
  10. Patient Perfects “Sliding Scale Dilaudid” Regimen at Home
  11. Record Number of Drug Seekers Expected for Annual Easter Dilaudid Hunt
  12. Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much
  13. Modified DEA License Allows Healthcare Practitioners to Not Prescribe Dilaudid
  14. Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
  15. Hospital Administrators Consider Renaming MDs to “Morphine & Dilaudid”
  16. Study Shows Direct Relationship Between Teddy Bear Size and Dilaudid Dose
  17. Exciting New Medical App Allows Patients to Preorder Dilaudid Before ER Arrival
  18. Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears
  19. Hospital Enacts New BYOD Policy: Bring Your Own Dilaudid
  20. Patients Love New Turkey Sandwich with Dilaudid & Benadryl: The Turlaudidryl Special
  21. Allergy-Sniffing Dog Weeds Out Dilaudid-Seeking Liars
  22. Three Wise Monkeys Support CDC Opioid Guidelines: “See No Dilaudid, Hear No Dilaudid, Speak No Dilaudid”
  23. Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”
  24. Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to “That One That Starts with a D”
  25. ER’s New Dilaudid Salt Lick, Admissions Down 90%

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