Coffee

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Coffee and its infinite variations is a magical elixir 99.9% of health care providers drink to keep awake through the reality that is our careers.[1] It is a rare source of hope and happiness in the clinical setting, even if it tastes like sin or looks like melena. What matters is that coffee does the job and feels like it's made from unicorn smiles and angels' wings.[2] Fear the provider who hasn't had his or her cup of morning joe. However, note to any incoming health care professionals, like graduating nurses or medical students: never, ever order decaffeinated coffee, because, well, without the caffeine, what's the point?[3]


Can You Think of Different Types of Coffees?


Affogato. Antoccino. Botz. Breve. Black Tie. Ca Phe Sua Da. Cafe Au Lait. Cafe Bonbon. Cafe Cubano. Cafe De Olla. Cafe Touba. Cafe Zorro. Caffe Crema. Caffe Gommosa. Caffe Medici. Caffe Marocchino. Cappuccino. Chai Latte. Cortado. Decaffeinated Coffee. Doppio. Drip Coffee. Egg Coffee. Eggnog Latte. Eiskaffee. Espressino. Espresso Con Panna. Espresso Romano. Filtered Coffee. Flat White. French Press. Galao. Greek Frappe Coffee. Guillermo. Ice Shot. Irish Coffee. Kopi Susu. Latte. Latte Macchiato. Macchiato. Mazagran. Melange. Melya. Mocha. Moka. Palazzo. Pocillo. Red Tie. Ristretto. Shakerato. South Indian Coffee. Turkish Coffee. Vienna Coffee. White Coffee. Yuanyang.


Recent News


On July 11, 2017, two studies published in the Annals of Internal Medicine found that coffee reduces the risk of death from various causes and across several ethnicities.[4][5] However, it is unclear in health care professionals if it offsets the increase risk of death associated with current work conditions.[6][7] That's all right. Now where's the nearest coffee machine?


Then on July 23, 2017, a study in the New England Journal of Defecation found that the average onset of turd creation among 80 million Americans after a first sip of coffee (the sip-to-sh*t or S2S time) is 29.04 seconds.[8] No wonder it's called the runs.


Should I Put Coffee in My Face Right Now?


Follow The Oatmeal's handy flowchart.[9]


Related Topics



References


  1. The Joint Commission Now Encourages Coffee At Nursing Stations, Mortality Rates Plummet (Gomerblog)
  2. Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken (Gomerblog)
  3. Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely (Gomerblog)
  4. Coffee Drinking and Mortality in 10 European Countries: A Multinational Cohort Study (Annals of Internal Medicine)
  5. Association of Coffee Consumption With Total and Cause-Specific Mortality Among Nonwhite Populations (Annals of Internal Medicine)
  6. Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment (Gomerblog)
  7. A Brief History of Physician Burnout (Gomerblog)
  8. Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds (Gomerblog)
  9. Should You Put Coffee in Your Face Right Now (The Oatmeal)


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