Noon Conference
Geared towards residents, noon conference is a lunchtime conference that has three basic requirements: (1) unhealthy food, (2) a speaker with reads off of his or her PowerPoint, and (3) residents who fall asleep.
The Food
The hallmark of a good noon conference is unhealthy food and/or the presence of cookies. The presence of cardiologist as speaker almost often guarantees conference will feature pizza or something else that causes thrombosis of the coronary arteries. The presence of healthy food, like salad or fruits and vegetables, defeats the purpose of noon conference."
The Speaker
A monotone speaker must be paired with the compensatory insulin spike that will occur with the aforementioned food. In the event that a speaker must choose a topic that doesn't induce sleep, it must induce vomit because what why wouldn't you want to learn about infected eyeballs, diabetic food ulcers, or intestinal worms while eating lunch?[1]
The Residents
The combination of coma-inducing food and a mundane speaker (if it isn't about worms) turns noon conference into what it is really meant to be for residents: a bedtime story or naptime. According to the latest poll from the ACGME, noon conference is synonymous with a 0% information retention rate but a 100% snoozefest.
Related Reading
- Burnout
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