Endotracheal Tube
An endotracheal tube is a specially-designed catheter that is inserted into the trachea via the nose or mouth for the primary purpose of suppressing a cough and the secondary purpose of securing a patient airway. If the endotracheal tube is found in another orifice - ear canal, rectum, and urethra are some examples - consider it the consequence of a tired health care professional.[1][2][3]
Construction
Most endotracheal tubes are made of polyvinyl chloride, but there are other tubes made with bacon or lard to help improve patient satisfaction scores. All tubes, though, have an inflatable cuff, not only to prevent air leakage but also to ensure a bloody mess when the patient self-extubates.[4] Though 99% of endotracheal tubes currently in use are of the nonmusical variety, a new company called Party-Goof is turning heads with their musical endotracheal tubes to brighten an otherwise dismal ICU setting. Early experience with these has been nothing short of positive, with many highly-approving of the "Womp womp womp waahhhhhh” sound emitted at the time of a dying patient's terminal extubation.[5]
Indications for an Endotracheal Tube
- Inability to stop coughing[6]
- Inability to protect the airway when pronouncing polysyllabic medications[7]
- Failure to stop talking[8][9]
- Health care professional forgot to eat[10]
Removal
Easy: send to the radiology department.[11]
Read or Regret It!
- Breathing
- Chest Pain
- COPD
- Cricoid Pressure
- Dyspnea
- Pneumonia
- Pulmonary Embolism
- SOB
- Mechanical Ventilator
References
- Jump up ↑ Tired Critical Care Fellow Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Rectum (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Tired Anesthesiologist Accidentally Intubates Patient’s Ear Canal (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Ventilator More Effective When Connected to Endotracheal Tube (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ ICU Physician Unveils New Self-Extubation Order Set (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Musical Endotracheal Tubes Brighten Up ICU (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Nurse & Doctor Held Hostage by Patient Who Keeps Talking (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Med Student Wastes Dying Patient’s Last Moments on Earth Talking About Damn Krebs Cycle (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Doctor Orders Food Trays for Intubated Patients, Eats for Free (Gomerblog)
- Jump up ↑ Tip: If You Need to Extubate Patient, Send to Radiology (Gomerblog)
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