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On July 11, 2017, two studies published in the ''[[Annals of Internal Medicine]]'' found that '''coffee''' reduces the risk of death from various causes and across several ethnicities.<ref>[http://annals.org/aim/article/2643435/coffee-drinking-mortality-10-european-countries-multinational-cohort-study Coffee Drinking and Mortality in 10 European Countries: A Multinational Cohort Study (Annals of Internal Medicine)]</ref><ref>[http://annals.org/aim/article/2643433/association-coffee-consumption-total-cause-specific-mortality-among-nonwhite-populations Association of Coffee Consumption With Total and Cause-Specific Mortality Among Nonwhite Populations (Annals of Internal Medicine)]</ref> However, it is unclear in health care professionals if it offsets the increase risk of death associated with current work conditions.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/08/surface-mercury-less-toxic-than-hospital/ Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/11/physician-burnout-2/ A Brief History of Physician Burnout (Gomerblog)]</ref> That's all right. Now where's the nearest '''coffee''' machine?
Then on July 23, 2017, a study in the ''New England Journal of Defecation'' found that the average onset of turd creation among 80 million Americans after a first sip of '''coffee''' (the sip-to-sh*t or S2S time) is 29.04 seconds.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/07/coffee-29-seconds/ Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds (Gomerblog)]</ref> No wonder it's called the runs.
