Difference between revisions of "Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram"

Revision as of 17:43, 15 September 2016

Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, a Boca Raton negative, is one of health care's most versatile doctors. Though mostly based in Boca Raton, he can often be found working in other parts of the country and in different specialties.

Career Path

A jack of all trades, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram has worked numerous positions in health care. Some say he has worked one job for each letter of his last name.

1. On November 6, 2014, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was a Baltimore cardiologist when he was asked to comment on the news that white doctors were removed from the endangered species list.^[1]
2. On Christmas Eve of 2014, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was the treating hospitalist on Sesame Street when the Cookie Monster left against medical advice.^[2]
3. While moonlighting the North Pole on Christmas Day 2014, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram helped care for Santa Claus when he fell ill after being wedged in a chimney for at least 17 hours.^[3]
4. On May 2, 2015, while working a hospitalist at St. Maria-De-Madrigal-Del-Toro-Del-Mar Boca Raton Community Hospital, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram found himself flustered when he and other medical staff couldn't figure out if the cup at the nurses station was urine-colored tea or tea-colored urine.^[4]
5. On September 1, 2015, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram commented on recent news of an Austin hospital administrator giving a partner a post-coital survey. Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was working as an Austin hospitalist at this time.^[5]
6. On September 17, 2015, while coding a pulseless patient, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was interrupted with a stat coding query.^[6] He was a Madre De Dios hospitalist at the time.
7. On September 27, 2015, Mayo Clinic transplant specialist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram commented that tearful reunions between fecal transplant donors and recipients are quite common.^[7]
8. On October 8, 2015, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, while working at Madre De Dios Hospital as a hospitalist, found a used lubricant packet in the call room, which really through him for a loop.^[8]
9. On October 9, 2015, Mayo Clinic Chief of Cardiology for the Day Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram made it clear that he wasn't in favor of McDonald's value meals containing cholesterol and diabetes medications.^[9]
10. On October 16, 2015, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, while acting as Chief of Infectious Diseases at Johns Hopkins University, commented on the latest episode of gang violence betwen West and East Nile Viruses.^[10]
11. On October 17, 2015, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, now a local Atlanta hospitalist, commented on the ludicrous number of doctor deaths resulting from infinitely-long phone holds.^[11]
12. On December 19, 2015, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, now working for the Department of Emergency Medicine at Madre De Dios Hospital, brought attention to his hospital's new app that allowed patients to preorder Dilaudid prior to arrival. It was a boost to patient satisfaction scores.^[12]
13. On February 08, 2016, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram made headlines in the "Medical Trial of the Century" when he sued himself for misdiagnosis of his own illness. Gomerblog reported the story 2 weeks later.^[13]
14. On February 28, 2016, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram found himself in a time vortex as he explained and reexplained medical care to multiple family members who kept entering a room at different intervals.^[14]
15. On April 3, 2016, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram put on his researcher hat, presenting his research data on how "the moment you start a patient on blood thinners, the patient immediately experiences a 120-fold increase in risk of falls." Further, he added that "these falls involve direct trauma to the head."^[15]
16. On April 9, 2016, while back in Atlanta working as Chief Epidemiologist for the CDC, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram made the recommendation that mosquitoes wear tiny condoms to help in the fight against Zika virus.^[16] This was his most important and only recommendation during his CDC tenure.
17. On April 27, 2016, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram took a free moment off from work to have "DNR" tattooed at every potential central venous access point on his body.^[17] He was working at a rehab facility at the time.
18. On May 12, 2016, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram watched a hospital administrator rush to a dying patient's bedside in order to complete core measures.^[18]
19. On July 21, 2016, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram found himself in the national spotlight while working at Made De Dios Hospital in Boca Raton, as his patient awoke from a coma only to find out Donald Trump was running for President and subsequently withdrew his own care.^[19]
20. On August 2, 2016, Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram, now working as an ENT in Boca Baton, made a fortune thanks to his cucumber water ear lavage.^[20]
21. Not even two weeks later, Gomerblog reported on August 13, 2016 that Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram earned himself the title of "The Michael Phelps of Mouse-Clicking" while working in the Department of Internal Medicine in south Florida.^[21]

References

1. Jump up ↑ White Doctors Removed From Endangered Species List After Successful Breeding In Captivity
2. Jump up ↑ Update: Cookie Monster Leaves Sesame Street Hospital AMA on Christmas Eve
3. Jump up ↑ Santa Claus In Serious Condition After Chimney Incident & Sleep Apnea Complications
4. Jump up ↑ Hospital Staff Deciding If Cup at Nurses Station is Filled With Urine-Colored Tea or Tea-Colored Urine
5. Jump up ↑ Hospital Administrator Gives Partner Post-Coital Satisfaction Survey Out Of Habit
6. Jump up ↑ Hospitalist Administering CPR Interrupted With STAT Coding Query
7. Jump up ↑ Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video
8. Jump up ↑ Empty Lubricant Packet Found In Hospital Sleep Room Creates More Questions Than Answers
9. Jump up ↑ McDonald’s Introduces Value Meals With Cholesterol and Diabetes Medications Blended In
10. Jump up ↑ West Nile Virus Murdered By East Nile Virus In Latest Ugly Episode Of Viral Gang Violence
11. Jump up ↑ Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold
12. Jump up ↑ Exciting New Medical App Allows Patients to Preorder Dilaudid Before ER Arrival
13. Jump up ↑ Doctor Sues Himself After Misdiagnosing His Own Medical Condition
14. Jump up ↑ Doctor Trapped In Time Vortex Re-Explaining Medical Care to Multiple Family Members
15. Jump up ↑ Study: Anticoagulation Initiation Instantly Increases Your Fall Risk
16. Jump up ↑ CDC Urges Mosquitos to Wear Tiny Condoms to Fight Zika Virus
17. Jump up ↑ Area Doctor Obtains “DNR” Tattoos At Every Central Venous Access Point After Stint at Rehab Facility
18. Jump up ↑ Heroic Hospital Administrator Rushes To Dying Patient To Complete Core Measures
19. Jump up ↑ Patient Awakens from Coma, Hears About Trump, Requests Withdrawal of Care
20. Jump up ↑ ENT Physician Who Rebranded Ear Washes As “Cucumber Water Ear Lavages” Now A Billionaire
21. Jump up ↑ Healthcare Professionals Sweep Medals In All Olympic Mouse-Clicking Events

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