Difference between revisions of "Laws of the House of God"
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| − | [[File:The House of God.jpg| | + | [[File:The House of God.jpg|500px|thumb|right]] |
'''I.''' Gomers don't die. | '''I.''' Gomers don't die. | ||
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'''II.''' Gomers go to ground. | '''II.''' Gomers go to ground. | ||
| − | '''III.''' At a [[2015 ACLS Algorithm|cardiac arrest]], the first procedure is to take your own pulse. | + | '''III.''' At a [[2015 ACLS Algorithm|cardiac arrest]], the first procedure is to take your own pulse.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/03/heart-rate/ Med Student Figures Out Heart Rate: Count Beats in a Day, Divide by 24 Then Again by 60 (Gomerblog)]</ref> |
'''IV.''' The patient is the one with the disease. | '''IV.''' The patient is the one with the disease. | ||
| − | '''V.''' [[Society of Hospital Medicine|Placement]] comes first. | + | '''V.''' [[Society of Hospital Medicine|Placement]] comes first.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/04/moon-placement/ Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2017/03/placement-exacerbation/ Patient Admitted for Placement Exacerbation (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/12/placement-medicine/ “Hospital Medicine” Renamed “Placement Medicine” (Gomerblog)]</ref><ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/09/placement-hospitalists-perspective/ Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective (Gomerblog)]</ref> |
'''VI.''' There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with #14 needle and a good strong arm. | '''VI.''' There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with #14 needle and a good strong arm. | ||
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'''VIII.''' They can always hurt you more. | '''VIII.''' They can always hurt you more. | ||
| − | '''IX.''' The only good admission is a dead admission. | + | '''IX.''' The only good admission is a dead admission.<ref>[http://gomerblog.com/2016/09/nurse-keeps-dead-patient/ Nurse Keeps Dead Patient to Prevent Another Admission (Gomerblog)]</ref> |
'''X.''' If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever. | '''X.''' If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever. | ||
| − | '''XI.''' Show me a BMS who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet. | + | '''XI.''' Show me a [[Karen Weaselsnout-Jones|BMS]] who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet. |
'''XII.''' If the radiology resident and the BMS both see a lesion on the [[Chest X-Ray|chest X ray]], there can be no lesion there. | '''XII.''' If the radiology resident and the BMS both see a lesion on the [[Chest X-Ray|chest X ray]], there can be no lesion there. | ||
| − | '''XIII.''' The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible. | + | '''XIII.''' The delivery of medical care is to do as much [[Nothing|nothing]] as possible. |
| − | Think you know them all? Then try this quiz! [http://gomerblog.com/quizzes/laws-of-the-house-of-god/ Do You Know the Laws of the House of God?] | + | '''Quiz''' |
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| + | Think you know them all? Then try this quiz! [http://gomerblog.com/quizzes/laws-of-the-house-of-god/ Do You Know the Laws of the House of God?] | ||
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| + | '''2016 Updated Laws of the House of God''' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | Refer to the following page to see the [[2016 Updated Laws of the House of God]]. | ||
| + | |||
| + | |||
| + | '''Related Reading''' | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | - [[Card-Flip]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[Dead, dead, dead, dead...]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[Death]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[How do I pronounce a patient dead?]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[Pager]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[Placement]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[Rose Room]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[Three-by-Five Index Card]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | - [[Turf]] | ||
| + | |||
'''References''' | '''References''' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | <references /> | |
[[Category:The House of God]] | [[Category:The House of God]] | ||
[[Category:Medical Journals, Textbooks & Other Resources]] | [[Category:Medical Journals, Textbooks & Other Resources]] | ||
Latest revision as of 02:12, 13 July 2017
I. Gomers don't die.
II. Gomers go to ground.
III. At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse.[1]
IV. The patient is the one with the disease.
V. Placement comes first.[2][3][4][5]
VI. There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with #14 needle and a good strong arm.
VII. Age + BUN = Lasix dose.
VIII. They can always hurt you more.
IX. The only good admission is a dead admission.[6]
X. If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever.
XI. Show me a BMS who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet.
XII. If the radiology resident and the BMS both see a lesion on the chest X ray, there can be no lesion there.
XIII. The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible.
Quiz
Think you know them all? Then try this quiz! Do You Know the Laws of the House of God?
2016 Updated Laws of the House of God
Refer to the following page to see the 2016 Updated Laws of the House of God.
Related Reading
- Death
- How do I pronounce a patient dead?
- Pager
- Turf
References
- ↑ Med Student Figures Out Heart Rate: Count Beats in a Day, Divide by 24 Then Again by 60 (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Placement Tips: How to Place a Patient on the Moon (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Patient Admitted for Placement Exacerbation (Gomerblog)
- ↑ “Hospital Medicine” Renamed “Placement Medicine” (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Placement: A Hospitalist’s Perspective (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Nurse Keeps Dead Patient to Prevent Another Admission (Gomerblog)
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Fun Stuff
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