Cardiac Catheterization
A cardiac catheterization is like a thinner colonoscopy but through the coronaries. This is done for diagnostic purposes, interventional purposes, or sh*ts and giggles. For example, a cardiologist can perform a cardiac catheterization to identify what coronary vessel is blocked by a burger or hot dog.[1] The cardiologist may choose to intervene, either by extracting the meaty thrombus or by placing a bacon-eluting stent.[2] In some cases, the patient may have no indications of heart disease, but the cardiologist will insist on a cardiac catheterization anyway since, well, why not?[3]
History
Back in the 1930s, Dr. Werner Forssmann earned the Noble Prize in Physiology or Medicine after he inserted a catheter into a vein of his own forearm and threaded it into his right atrium using fluoroscopy. It is undoubtedly a brave and bold maneuver, though one must ask the question, why didn't he do it on a medical student first?
Categories
Left heart catheterization and right heart catheterization are the two major categories of cardiac catheterization:
- Left heart catheterization (LHC) - Employed in cases involving the left side of the heart, or a cardiologist who is either left-handed or standing on the left side of the patient.
- Right heart catheterization (RHC) - Employed in cases involving the right side of the heart, or a cardiologist who is either right-handed or standing on the right side of the patient.
Indications
Indications for cardiac catheterization include but are not limited to the following:
- Chest pain
- Cough[4][5]
- Diarrhea
- Dyspnea
- Dysuria[6]
- Eye pain
- Itchiness
- Six-degree heart block[7]
- Tummy ache
- Winning the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.[8]
Other Cardiac Issues
- 1-Lead ECG
- 230-Lead ECG
- Amazon Echo
- Amazon Stress Test
- Baby Aspirin
- Heart-to-Heart
- Supply-Demand Mismatch
References
- ↑ Cardiologist Excited to Cath Winner of Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Cardiologists Now Deploying Bacon-Eluting Stents (Gomerblog)
- ↑ No Matter the Symptom, Local Cardiologist Pretty Convinced It’s an Anginal Equivalent (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Study: The Most Effective Cough Suppressant is an Endotracheal Tube (Gomerblog)
- ↑ As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time to Start Coughing Violently (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Study: People Named Willie, Dick & Johnson at Higher Risk for UTIs (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Breaking News: Kevin Bacon Diagnosed with Sixth-Degree Heart Block (Gomerblog)
- ↑ Cardiologist Excited to Cath Winner of Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest (Gomerblog)
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